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Mad, Bad and Dangerous To Know

I love my greying hair and wrinkling
broken nose from much bullwinkling
never been much for vanwinkling
nor ever stopped my eyes from twinkling

My head and face has many a scar
from bullshitting near and far
smart-arseing in a dangerous bar
and failing to run so very far
whilst giggling like a mad porn star

If that’s my fate then so be it
I always end up in the shit
I don’t mind if I get hit
if laughing so my sides are split
at the expense of some dim-wit.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
The new title may be a bit pretentious, styling myself after Byron, but words to that effect have been said of me often and "My Worn Visage" didn't seem to cut the mustard.
Editing stage: 

Comments

If you know the annual cowboy poetry event in the USA, your poem is a great fit!
I would submit it!

Reminds me of Johnny Cash, Boy named Sue, about a father who names his son Sue so he will learn to fight and be a man who's never pushed around.

I would just be careful- these damn dentists charge so much money these days!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

ta

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

of course I relate to 'A Boy Named Sue'. Jesse is a rare name for a male in Aussie and dad insisted on the Jess spelling, I suspect for the same reason as the song, growing up with five sisters. Backfired on the poor old strict Anglican and homophobic bastard though. I'm thoroughly omnisexual and atheist [grins].

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

i must now visit down under
an unique poetry no wonder
all reading it go about asunder
then about cowboys they all ponder
all such poets have stomachs much rounder
are they all also from deep down under

let lovedly not about your page much wander
else 'twill be a time for loved to again surrender

I've worked hard construction much of my life in some of the toughest places in Australia.
Also punched my way through the paunchy businesspenguins
Got riotous with arty types, farty types, inbetweeny anything types
and loved most of it.

I could die happy tomorrow, but sure as fuck not going to. Been practicing my chess in case that bony bloke in the cowl with a scythe drops by.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

This was a fun read for me.
The first of urs I read in a long time & it didn't disappoint.
I often laugh & point at child-like stupidity &, more often then I'd admit, they tend to laugh back.

Good to see u again, friend

and good to see you back.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

for a good read... enjoyed.

comrade

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

Well here's proof enough that you Can use rhyme when you want to. And this poem really has a lot more impact for rhyme being used rather than discarded. You need to punctuate this so as to give reader a chance to catch their breath......stan

You often react here and on Facebook as if I am on some sort of anti-rhyme crusade.
[sighs] Once more, for your benefit, everyone else seems to get it-

I am all for learning all poetic forms and using them appropriately. Rhyme is just the most abused form. Rhyme alone does not a poem make.

I've shown over and over again that I know how to use rhyme, and all the other forms.
I bet if you put in a bit of due diligence you could learn meter too.

Oh, and thanks for the crit on punctuation. I'll check it. Punctuation actually is my weakest point. When to use semi-colons, colons versus dashes, all confuse the hell out of me.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

of positive reinforcement? You do rhyme so well that I try to encourage you to do more of it.....jeeze

It was not 'positive reinforcement'. You can't wriggle out of this.

"Well here's proof enough that you Can use rhyme when you want to"
[of course I bloody well can, I'm an experienced, experimental and yes, trained poet. Much more rigorously trained and informed than you]
[many of my poems have some rhyme, just seldom a rhyming scheme throughout].
And this poem really has a lot more impact for rhyme being used rather than discarded.
[I never discard a rhyme that proves useful, even when it's accidental].

Really mate, that's what I lost my temper over. You seem to think you and I have some ongoing polemic over classic versus freeform. We don't, pick someone else who actually believes freeform is better than structured.

Who runs workshops on classic meter? Me. Who has run workshops on classic forms? Me. I have written sonnets, villanelles and other classic forms when it suited the content, not just for workshops. My only problem with rhyme is that it is overused and misused. Too many people think prose with rhymes at the end of the line makes poetry. It doesn't and I know you agree. The only extent to which we disagree is that meter is more important than rhyme, under-used and under-learned. And you are wrong on that; it's not even an argument.

Whatever, just please stop inventing this ongoing polemic. It's boring and childish. Worst of all it's wrong.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

it is something I try to impart to all my protegees, diversity.
Unfortunately poetry seems to go hand in hand with huge egos (the more self-deprecating and humble they profess to be the bigger the ego (yes, that was a dig at you, Stan)).

Teaching poets is like herding feral cat pirates.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

This is how I imagine you - bloody cheeky fucker with a keen wit. I enjoyed this, though am surprised at it's light-hearted style. I would change nothing, I think, it seems as good a self portrait as anything.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

yes, did you ever see that '70s Japanese TV show 'Monkey', dreadful English dubbing by English voice actors, it contained my life motto-
For the nature of Jess is iirrreeepprreessiiibblllee!

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

& yes... I can see the connection... My son (who is now 23) loved Monkey too... They have made a modern version recently, Monkey & Pigsy & Fish are way too handsome ... sadly it's Americanified. Anyway, now I am worried you'll whistle up my cloud & piss off with it with a cheeky grin & no regrets.. Cheers A

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

The new title may be a bit pretentious, styling myself after Byron, but words to that effect have been said of me often and "My Worn Visage" didn't seem to cut the mustard.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment
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