This poem paints a vivid picture of a difficult and fearful experience, however, the repetition of the word “the” in the first two lines makes the poem seem choppy and could benefit from a slight edit. One suggested line edit would be to replace the second “the” with a different descriptive word, such as “this”. With this small change, the poem reads, “I close my eyes to see the devil. It is this fear that poisons us.” This revision helps to create a smoother flow to the poem, while retaining the same meaning.

The poem’s use of imagery and the metaphor of the devil effectively conveys the speaker’s fear, making the poem engaging and emotive. The last line, “Could I survive the night, this time”, is particularly powerful and serves to raise the stakes of the poem, leaving the reader wondering what will happen.

Overall, this is a well-crafted poem, with a strong emotional core. With the suggested line edit, the poem would be further improved and would create a smoother reading experience.