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LOVELY ROSES .....2014 COMPO edit Gee

A message deliver,
the arrival of a new lover is near
we all love roses
my dear
never the thorns ever fear

they prick just slightly
you are used to worse ones

so let all roses speak for you
your true love
she must earn

in the desire of innate love
she may like to burn
like a moth to a flame.

beautiful roses
she will get in return

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

you need a different word than [severer]. maybe try [worse]?
and how about moth rather than butterfly? [They are usually associated with a flame].
"Like a moth to a flame." ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Gee
thanks to thee
modern touch may be

author comment

as you like! I did not edit your poem. I offer critique and suggestions, and I didn't think that I had to add as I so often do, that they are suggestions only and you can do as you like, including using your own edits.
~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I think (pricks) works as in worse knocks, hits, hurts ect. it is all in the way you see it. it is a beautiful poem, with a bit of philosophy thrown in. I like it alot!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

once before I changed pricks to a softer word
once I recall
shall change it
Thanks all
any help
do call

author comment

don't change it!

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Cats
always am
have been and will b
u do c

author comment
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