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Love Leaves at Midnight

And I’ll say
When I had just turned twenty,
I was supposed to get married,
To this one girl,
We’ll call her Love,
But not that sweet kind of love,
That love that doesn’t even love you back,
That love that lies to you and doesn’t call back,
That love that secretly hates you,
Because it doesn’t understand you,
Nor does it want to,
Yes sir,
That kind of love,
The kind of love that will get up and leave you,

And in the end,
She did just that,
And left,
Without saying a thing,
Not even a goodbye,
Just left,
Probably sometime in the night,
When no one would notice,
Just left,

Left me to think of her and her face,
Of what she might be doing,
Or where she might be,

Yes sir,
That kind of love,
The kind that leaves your heart beating rapidly,
The kind of love that leaves you confused,
That heartbreaking love,

But to tell you the truth,
There’s no other kind of love.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Wherever you are, I forgive you.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I would have preferred not to see the word "love", but then (heehee) it aint a love poem now, is it?
I would definitely leave off the "of love" in the last line - more impact that way.

Good to read your work; its been a while.
Keep writing.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

You have the bones of a poem no matter if it is fact or fiction, now the words are there it needs a touch of hard rhyme and flow.
Try not to make a statement of the write, so it may hurt lots if true but fix the flow.
Probably life has moved on since then or are you still 20 ???
This can be good the theme is solid,
Yours, Ian.

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Hi Ian. It's a mixture of personal account as well as experiences of others that inspired the poem. I really appreciate the input, but could you give me an example, maybe I could work of that. You're free to rework any lines to show me. I'm out of town, so I'll work on it more when I get back. Thank you!

author comment

Sounds very scary to me. Getting married!?

xxxxx

Not anytime soon! Lol! It's a mix of personal account as well as other people's experiences that served as the main inspiration.

author comment
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