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Lost in the land of stories

Submitted by Viviana Smith on Tue, 2020-10-13 13:44

I pick up a book and flip open the page
the words jump and float out to meet me
they circle me and whisper secrets in my ears
then the bookmark becomes a rope to climb
climbing up I see the most remarkable sight
flowers the size of watermelons
small little men that have hair made of cotton candy and skin made from gold
the ground is curved like the ocean with all the colors of the rainbow
the trees seem to float in the air and sing with the wind
the clouds have giant mustaches and big blue eyes
the grass is made of twizzlers
this land is wonderful, marvelous, and fair
I could get lost and have to live in here
but a voice is heard shouting my name
Olivia, you've been in your room for days!

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Ray Whitaker

Tue, 2020-10-13 18:14

Ray Whitaker's picture

I feel like I’ve been in my “room” (s) for days too...

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Viviana Smith

Tue, 2020-10-13 19:55

Viviana Smith's picture

if i do that though then the line before it won't make sense. These lines represent my mom or family telling me to come out of my room and stop reading.

Kisses,
Vivi

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Geezer

Wed, 2020-10-14 08:41

Geezer's picture
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I was a voracious reader in my youth, [still am]. But my mom would say to me; [It's a beautiful day, don't you want to go outside?] I read mostly Sci-fi and while the descriptions of the peoples in your books aren't exactly the same; there were and are many characters that held my attention. I am not sure that Ray was saying that you should add an ess to your room; I rather think that he was commenting on his rooms. Anyhow, good writing, keep it up. BTW. my grandaughter's name is Alyssa Olivia. Love that name, it makes me think of the Greek and Roman classical stories I read as a youth. ~ Geez.
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Viviana Smith

Wed, 2020-10-14 09:26

Viviana Smith's picture

that is my name actually. My real name is olivia. my pen name is vivi. I read moslty horror and dystopian stories. This poems just the feeling i feel when i'm in the book. It like my own little safe house.

Kisses,
Vivi

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