Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Lost & Found

I lost 'me' where the foliage had to stream,
in worn out memories, and cold dreams,
on the cliffs and the gulfs of time
where willows whine with no rhyme.
Then I found 'me' - bashing
through the ember
of September,
A phoneix grew_
I found
YOU

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Please google 'Etheree' to know more about the form
Editing stage: 

Comments

it's a nice way to remember how you found your better half in September and expressing it in poetic verse...so we now know that September holds an important day in your calendar...

i suggest that unless there is some syllable count requirement, you may remove one of the two "the" in each of the two lines

in the memories, and the bold dreams,
on the cliffs and the gulfs of time

the poem also has a nice soft feel which goes pretty well with the theme..
.......................................................................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

For your thoughtful feedback. I think the poem needs a bit of tweeks here and there. I'll be back to it hopefully the coming days.
Appreciate your endless support.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

I did some changes following your feedback and some other towards the end.
Thank you.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

this revised version is crisper...
............................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

nice nonet which are not easy to write
as your title states what was lost was found

Hello Shadow
Thank you. There is a very slight difference between the two forms.
Happy to know that you like it. Appreciate your nice words.
Thank you.
Always open for any constructive feedback or thoughts.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Rule just wrote a mostly rhyming poem..........(trying to give me a heart attack I bet lol). I enjoyed this and good luck in contest

three things if I may :)
First, my name is RulA not RulE
2nd, I rarely write free verse. Most of the time I DO rhyme.
3rd, this is not intended for the contest, unless someone would recommend it. I have already submitted one for the contest. It's not that I expect to win, but I appreciate if you tell me which better fits the bill.
Anyway, appreciate your kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

But the rhyming was just my being stupid......ston.......see, there goes another typo

no need to apologise. No offense taken.;-)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Please mark it as for
CONTEST

I was only trying to know which qualifies better, the one that I have already submitted or this one.
As always, I highly appreciate your kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.