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Lost and Found

often I think about
getting off the train of thoughts
at times it's menacing
the sound of the roller coaster
speeding on parallel tracks
leaving a trail of absent thoughts
whirring behind in a flash
before I turn around
they are gone

I get off at the next stop
to cool my heels
but the siren of the engine
draws me in
on the same seat
that had me occupied

I realize I'd left behind
some worn out baggage
with stillborn poems

I order a coffee and mint
and absently look out

soon I find what's lost
on the next bend
the rhythm has returned
the train is wheeling
in pace of my thoughts
and all is falling back in place
in the mind space

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Lucky then raj if you can really have the train of thoughts restored. It seldom returns to me.
I thought this is quite clever.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Thank you Rula for reading....perhaps you missed out that in that worn out bag there were stillborn poems....so not always do i reconnect with the train of thoughts.....in fact there are still moments of frustration when I do really think of taking a break from writing poems...rather what I think comes close to being called a poem..
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

It has universal appeal, we are all lost in a tower of words and thoughts. The image of the roller coaster and train with this works great and well done. I like how it concludes, putting us back on the tracks. A good poem!

2 thoughts. I think you are using the word "back" too often (5x). also, I think "I chuckle" is a distraction.
It just feels too cute for me. "I order a coffee and a mint" is all you need there.

..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

appreciate your time to read and comment on this write and good to know you liked it...the repetition of the word back has now been fixed using alternatives and the chuckle has been eliminated too...hope this now reads better...

thanks a lot..
..................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Yes I missed the 'stillborn' poem the first time on the first read.
I think you've surpassed yourself in this writing. The metaphor worked really well.
Thank you!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Thanks Rula for your encouraging words..
..............................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

yes, a fine poem indeed! Happy to have suggested some small things that you felt worth adopting.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Thanks again and regards Eumolpus
..........................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

this qualifies perfectly for September's contest. What do you think?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

only one is allowed per contest..i already have posted one...
.....................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

edit to make this one your official entry.
V. easy
Don't hesitate if you feel more comfortable with this one.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

for suggesting tp swap this one with the earlier one posted to contest....I had thought about it but think the other one is better though it does not strictly conform to the contest because the "found" part in there is in subtext...
.....................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

all have beaten me to this one so all I will say is great writing I just love that line of stillborn poems nice wording the entire poem has one racing but you do a fine job of restoring tranquility

for dropping by...reading and leaving an appreciative comment...means a lot..
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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