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Little Baby

Little Baby smiles
seeing the world in her eyes
with sweet innocence

Learning step by step
from crawling, to stand and walk
falling and rising.

She's a gift from God
a painter of the soul's joy
who teaches what's love

Touching people's heart
with her loud burst of laughter
and by being true

Gazing at her face,
one may forget one's problem
Her charm is magic

Little baby,
you've taught me
to improve,
to rise when I fall,
to bring joy to all,
to be true to myself,
to share and to shine,
to know love is to sacrifice,
and that makes me
adore you even more.

I'll never tire of your presence,
that's why I cradle you
till my arms are sore.

Goodnight, my princess.
May your dreams are filled with colours,
the same way you've coloured my life.
I'll give you the world if I could
but for now, all I have is a quick kiss
for you.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I see you've made a good use of the latest workshop.
Loved the theme and how you morphed when you started to converse with the baby.

I have a thought however I want to share with you.

If this were mine ( I wish )I'd do it like this

little baby,
you've taught me
to improve,
to rise when i fall,
to bring joy to all,
to be true to myself,
to share and to shine,
to know love is to sacrifice,
makes me adore you all [even]more

I'll never tire of your presence
that's why i cradle you
till my arms are sore.

Goodnight, my princess.
May your dreams [are] full [fill] of [with] colours
the same way you've coloured my life.
I'll give you the world if I could
but for now, all I have is [a] quick kiss
for you

Just few changes if you like to consider or to discard.
very lightsome and enjoyable indeed.
Thanks for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Thanks for the visit and the suggestion. Just when I was trying to calm myself, I saw a neighbour's baby girl and this idea sprang into my mind. I loved babies and children. I make funny faces and she laughed. Kinda make me forget my anger.

Alid

author comment

both and of course
love to the new baby

to rise when I fall,
to bring joy to all,
to be true to myself,
to share and to shine,
to know love is to sacrifice,

too much use of to

'''maybe tis me only''
this I say like those
who admit needs an edit
but fear the consequences ..
the wrath the fiery retort

thus/so
upon their own shoulders
they rest a bit

hence unlike me
this time tis!

like maybe me!

no need to worry for a fiery retort.. There's no reason to be fiery at all. Firstly I must admit I did use a lot of "to" in there but I can't see any other way around it. Are you asking me to do this?

Little baby,
you've taught me
to improve,
rise when I fall,
bring joy to all,
be true to myself,
share and to shine,
know love is to sacrifice,
and that makes me
adore you even more.

Here's the thing, in my own view, it looks kinda "funny",

Alid

author comment

u r master of thyself
do as u please and
remember all 7.5 billions
who read u all u can never please
can you?
so do what ever u want to
I like ur lovely poetry as all others do too

know something? even though I know you're a guy, there are times I forget. everytime I look at your profile picture.I dunno, maybe its just me but everytime I see a rose picture, my mind go ahead and think "WOMAN" lol, then I remember one of your poems which actually confirm you're male and I felt a little silly. you chose the name "lovedly" but that actually describes the love feeling, same goes with your profile pic , don't you. Love is for all, so yeah, the jokes on me but you really killing me with curiousity, with you being mysterious and all.lol

Alid

author comment

for poets sex is immaterial
i can write like a kid ..aged guy... gal.. woman.. man etc
name any ...as basically I am an actor of poetry

Secondly my pseudo is'' loved''
as my id got hacked, I had to forgo it and opened afresh.... with proper permission
and so I had to use
lovedly
as no two ids can be same .
Hope the curiosity is canned.
regards...
I wish anonymity Please do grant me
Thirdly roses are not = woman
they are given to all great persons
though mostly women,
even at burials though lily is preferred...

all purposes are served by a red rose!

I ain't asking you to give up your anonymity. I've always been a curious one since young. I mean, that's how I become a food mixing fella. lol. Actually, I think it makes you interesting, somewhat. As for roses, well, like I said its just me, bro. To each his own way of thinking. Yes I know if you want you can write like anyone you want. Me, not so much. lol. Though I did write as a woman once entitled "A New Beginning".
By the way, I didn't know roses can be used for burials, so thanks for the sharing. See ya around, friend. I'm gonna take a nap a bit. Kinda feeling down a bit with the flu. Gotta fight it.

Alid

author comment

BLACK ROSES FOR BURIALS====sadness
and
there are 13 basic varieties ....each one for different occasion...
Can I ask you some personal qs via pm, as ur an interesting Cancerian

you can pm me.

Alid

author comment

i wholeheartedly agree with Rula's comment about a good attempt at morphing. Surely, you have shown continual improvements in such a short span of time.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Its all thanks to the workshop Stan had=s started, so let the credit goes to the teacher as well.

Alid

author comment
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