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Listening with the soul

Listen
As if it were a whisper of salvation at the lip of the cliff
The summit of the waterfall
The roaring of the flame
Listen
A cup of gentle solitude passed silently across
The very heart of what you need
The words you longed to hear
Listen
The deepest gaze of exploration
The open hands of truth
The sweetness of dawn
Listen
Drinking in the rising sun
A fading tail-light
A baby’s weight within your tender arms
Listen
Like the last time I would see you
A distant storm approaching
A whale song underwater
Listen
As if the search is almost over
The desire is almost sated
The moment has arrived
Do you hear?
It has!…
it always will…
the only time is laid upon our senses
we might drink them,
we might see…
if we listen for the presence
now…
now…
& now

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
As usual, raw & needs refining.
Editing stage: 

Comments

oh my... what a wonderul surprise to find you here :)))) I love you in all your beautiful rawness and my ears and heart are blown wide open xxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

Oh Beki, Beki, Beki... yes, more jumpy aroundy excitemnty stuff to find you here too, I meant to mention that I was back & that it seemed to have mellowed etc. I thought you had eased away as well. But lovely, we can play, & I get to read your lovely works too.

How I LOVE that Rumi quote, I must have read it, but long ago & I am going to have to print it out or write it & put it up somewhere I think.

I am looking forward to going to look at what you've been writing here... very happy smiling red-head here!

Anni xxx

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

you'll have to forgive me for my lack of constructive feedback! it's just that reading your writing is like having tea and scones with your soul, an always intense, emotional and enjoyable experience :))) I find it near impossible to find fault with your work :) that said I prefered the 'I am listening' title I found last night. :))
Yes, we can play, whooop looking forward to more gorgeous interaction with you, love and hugs xxxx

'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)

Chuckle, it's ok, I struggle to stay focused on the poetry with you too... You know, when sisters connect with that kind of joy, it's like you have to get it out of your system a bit before you settle. & I completely relate, dare I say I read you often & just feel stunned at the way our minds harmonise, I do feel we are close sisters that incubate the experiences in our lives & then let them out in a similar way. I don't want to presume to be as wonderful as I experience you as a writer, but I always recognise places your writing takes me so deeply & feel I might have written something not too disimilar in response. & it is heartening too, yes, the very mirror we discussed long ago, if I can love your processes so warmly & feel sp akin, then by proxy I am more able to turn some warmth toward myself (which is a thing I've had to work hard to manage to do over the years)... & from what you say, there is a little similar story, or at least parallel?

Anyway, am off to read you .... smiling in anticipation xx

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

I think you could have titled it simply "Listening". This is a wonderfully sensitive write. I love the premise, and these lines:

Listen
As if the search is almost over
The desire is almost sated
The moment has arrived
Do you hear?

always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hi Cat, as always you are so clear & always seem to catch the very things I have deliberated over.
I thought, "Listen" was too trite as a title, almost demanding, where-as I had hoped the poem came through as more of an offering, I toyed with "Listening", it is an amazingly exacting thing the naming of a poem, isn't it, far more intricate & complex than one would think (without thinking too much!). "Listening" implies a completely different attitude though & I feared it would feel like more of a descriptor than a satement, which is why I went with I am listening... The other consideration was that I wrote this as a kind of affirmation if truth be known... The background being that with the sleeplessness & CFS etc. I find it harder to focus & be present than I would like & I long to come home to that deliscious state of what the bhuddists call "mindfulness", this morning it came to me less as a visual thing (as in focus, or clarity, or seeing, as I think I might often percieve the aspiration I have) & as a really definite sense of listening, beyond all the other senses, it feels like the final one is the listening of the soul, if that makes sense... oooh perhaps that should be the title!!!! (See how useful & valuable this process is, thank you for being involved in this refining process, you are so generous Cat)... Anyway, I digress, so I was pondering what I would most highly aspire to in that regard & this is what came out, & I felt it would be more powerful if I wrote it in quite visual terms, but with the ear poised constantly at the peak of that sensation (does that make sense to anyone else?).

Ultimately to listen with intent, to be present is the greatest gift we can give another... & indeed give ourselves, it makes the difference between surviving & thriving (as I mentioned in a previous comment to you I think). I want to be present, I want to LIVE this life, not just get through or survive or even suffer it, those are always options & it can feel like you have no choose at times, but the choice is where you place your focus, & what you listen for in what you experience really...

I've done it again, but I do love this forum, hope you don't mind my little explorations in response to your leading comments, I value this feedback so much, I feel it takes me to windows I may never have peered out from & views I may never have been blessed with, so thank you dear Cat.

I wish you beautiful views (figurativley speaking) & all the ambience that soothes your soul good woman.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

As always, you make perfect sense! I love the way your mind works, laced with spirituality. But please do tell me, what is CFS?

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Dear Cat, thanks, I think we have some parallel experiences possibly, I sense that you would relate to the way my mind works because you might have had some similar or related experiences? In any case I feel you wish to do as I do, accept the difficulties life throws up with grace & learn each lesson so that we become "better" human beings.
CFS (Chronic fatigue syndrome) also known as ME (Myalgic encephalomyalitis) & often (& in my case including) Fibromyalgia)... All are slightly different, but have the same effect, leaving one drained & quite unable to do much of anything much of the time, including think & concentrate. They are autoimmune diseases that attack the pituitary gland & the adrenal gland & cause a negatively spiralling experience of stress/fatigue. The worst part is the "brain fog" & malais that reduces my ability to articulate myself as I soooo love to be able to. With Fibromyalgia the pain receptors are accentuated & this makes sleep very difficult which adds to memory loss & vagueness & all the awful stuff you get from chronic sleep deprivation (the most effective form of torture apparently). The immune system is greatly compromised also so any bugs & viruses around have free reign. I have made progress in many ways toward recovery, recently I went 4 months free of viruses (it was heaven) & I am hoping that the one I have now will pass leaving me free again (I had 2 & 1/2 years of constant coughing & flus etc.... torture indeed for a singer!). I am also sleeping a little better, & am determined not to fade away to a marshmellow life as is the constant possibility. Sadly some (quite young) people end up bedridden & unable even to read or converse or do anything but try to manage pain & fatigue in solitude.... I have my days, but am never going to give up on recovering since I know it is possible. Please know, I don't seek sympathy & I know you are an empathic being so please try to avoid feeling sad or sorry for me, best for all if you just find joy in what I am able to do (as I do), because it is a joy to be able, I feel sure you understand that dear Cat.

Be well
Anni xx

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

but, as you said, it could use a little refining. for most of the piece you're describing what 'it' sounds like by starting the second line with 'as if it were-' making the rest of the piece seem to be describing only what it might sound like. i would consider changing that to 'it is' or something similar. that might change the meaning a little closer to saying that all these beautiful descriptions might actually be what we are trying to listen for. it's not LIKE a whale song, it IS a whale song that you should listen to and find it's meaning within.
i could be wrong, though.

nullus anxietas,
the_fool

Dear "fool" (interesting & loaded term you have chosen there... another time huh?)... Thanks, good thoughts to sit with. & yes... actually we could all be wrong... I tend to go with the concept that there is rarely a definitive "right" or "wrong", it makes for a better world & a better life in my perspective.

Much of your comment is valid & I shall play with it, the only definite point I see differently (& thank you for being humble as you offered this, it is an honourable courtessy) is the comment about it being the whalesong, the poem is trying to paint the sensation I had lurking that was quite illusive, relating to listening being a kind of hightened sense of awareness, the final & most poignant point of being present I suppose... so the description was calling for a "kind" of listening... the kind one would employ when listening for whale song... etc. Hope that helps... However as always, your comment is enormously enlightening since it shows up that the poem does NOT convey what I had hoped it would & will DEFINITELY need more work, so big thanks to you.
A

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

I dont get lost reading this

listening is the most important thing
for rest
for awareness
for danger
an openess for something
other then our own voices

there is beauty in stillness
unlike the calamity of voice
like a cow bell of restlessness

(I love whale songs too!! and animals)

Thank You

(Love some poets too)

Always love your comments, & thank you, testament to the theory that "wrong" & "right" are subjective & this lack clear definitive judgement. But every critique has gifts, I love that about this place, it is truly a good thing.... & indeed it is filled with whatever it is you have coloured it with by the very way you "listen" to it, don't you think.

I think it is a matter of comfort, I am more comfortable meandering & digressing than with sharp, angular & defined experiences, both, of course have merrit... Your writing has so much of that for me, it is expansive, it leaves so much space for exploration & gives so much atmosphere, not always comfortable, but I am comfortable with that if that makes sense (I have come to embrace & deeply enjoy "unknowing" & the act of improvising life, I have had to, it would be too painful otherwise to be lost without a sense that I could navigate with very little context or landmark... I love those clouds so much, my starry skies can be less accessable!!!).

I must learn to be more concise here in my comments though!

But I did want to say BRAVO! for that confirmation about listening being so important, I always tell my singing students & members of the choirs I facilitate, singing is more about listening than even making any sound, though in that case listening to the self is quite a key... in relation to other singers, or music, or (& especially) a'capella, when the spaces MUST be attended to with care, the beat that is NOT present, but implied, the pauses, the melody & the harmony that is imminently possible around it... blah blah.

Cheers
A

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

Would it be sacrilegious to redesign all that we know?

Like a child at play, yielding only to the infinite choices harbored solely in your imagination you take God’s clay and defiantly but effectually you become the new creator, enhancing so exquisitely that it is no longer recognizable to even he whose template you’ve modified.

Your colorful use of language and word structure is spectacular...its viral.
Your 'white', the blooming dogwood in a forrest of evergreen. Your ‘yellow’, the gorged yolk bursting over the horizon, dripping down onto the mountains and spilling into the valleys. Your ‘blues’, the clatter of a lonesome fishing boat rocking gently in the mooring to a winter rain and your ‘black’, a pair of fine Italian shoes perched on a ledge, teetering ominously to a post Market crash.

Through your words I have seen what I can never see through my own eyes.

I have been bitten. The venom runs through me. You have infected me.

Cloudthing Junkie

OREO (between u and me, your small guess may be correct...lol)

Adoration is a pleasant thing indeed, but I find it difficult to accept such strong accolades when the very words they are shaped with are so beautifully gathered & placed, I feel I don't deserve quite so strong & quite self effacing .patronage from a pen so clearly eloquent.. When last I looked you had not posted your own works here, I shall away to see if that has changed. I hope so, I look forward to the writings of such a generous & skillful poet.

Thank you, it's a pleasure to read your comments

Anni

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

I stopped to listen to the soul on the cliff and in the air... This is really catching to the inners, if you grasp what I mean. The ending you could of cut out some of the now now now.. Just my suggestion. Maybe like this..now and is or now and then..just my thinking. Great food for thought in this write. I think I may have met you here before, I am unsure. Anywho nice to read you today.

Blessings
Mona

Like to read more of your work.

Hi Mona, yes, that name rings a bell, I was around a couple of years ago, I kept the name I had way back then so you are probably right.

Thanks for your comments, I do indeed get your point & love the way you put it, I hope your 'inners' were stimulated positively at least.

I can see how the NOW repetition may not sit well with some... I thank you for your suggestion, but it would convey a completely different sentiment all- together... The now, in my minds read, has pauses between, marking the passing of time & focussing the mind as each "now" passes, into the new NOW... reminding us that NOW is all there ever is. That is what being present is, it is being in the "now", & what listening with the soul is, is being present to what is now... does that make sense? I've probably addled your brain & unsettled your "inners"! Cheers Mona, ta for dropping in, I'll go have a look for your work soon.

Anni

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment
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