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Stressed to the max
Not knowing why
Feeling the ax
Wanting to cry

Weird happening news
The message you send
From my point of view
I can’t see the end

Wanting to help
Save you from harm
Tighten my belt
Hold on to my arm

The blind lead the blind
With much tapping of canes
Just get in line
We’ll both go insane

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

To me Geezer you have created a sense of helplessness, resignation and realism through these verses which rhyme well in the poem and with the situations...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

It is exactly what I was trying for. My son suffers from anxiety/depression and there are times when I have a feeling of helplessness in trying to be a positive influence on him. In thinking about my feelings about not being able to help him much, I realized that what he feels must be significantly deeper and worse. It is realism! Thank you for the read and comments. ~ Geezer.
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author comment

best wishes to you Geezer, your son and family..
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raj (sublime_ocean)

It is kind of you to wish us well.~Geezer.
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author comment

message you send

may be messages you send

or /else
message you sent

in the context of your life the son
may he get better
give him more love and affection
than medicine
which of course must be a must

from me, but he lost his job, [he got the axe]. A metaphor. I'll think about your suggestions. Thank you for the good wishes.~ Geezer.
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author comment

made me feel he was like ADHD and young
Glad he isn't
To maintain a job one needs
diligence patience and confidence
muchly more than himself
in his or her boss
they hold the
red herring
as well as the AXE

who gets what
search me
okay them i
ts a moderna era
one of ego and aura

it takes little to get distracted. I read "ax" and immediately was drawn away from the poem, and could not find my way back. I thought maybe you were either headed for a beheading or having a lover dump you (give you the ax) . If the poem was about your son and his condition, why hide behind the poem, why not make it accessible to the reader? after several reads, i could not grasp the intent, the subject of this poem. I never could figure out the "you".

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Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

covers my son's anxiety attacks. He doesn't know why they come or from where. One minute he is fine, the next, he is worried that something bad is about to happen or that he has done something wrong. He has memory lapses and forgets what he is doing. He " got the ax" [lost his job], because of this and he has some health problems that have made him lose a lot of time from work. I get calls from him in the middle of the night, just wanting someone to talk to. I feel like I have to tighten my belt and give more attention to him than I have of late. Sometimes he forgets why he called me and tells me something about something he has seen or heard during the day and I have to try to piece together what he is telling me his concerns are. That is the "you" The last part is about me trying to lead him and protect him "Blind leading the blind" And me wanting to see what he sees; [We'll both go insane].

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author comment

Your very moving comments should be crafted into a poem. You have the craft. There is a lot of meanings and poetic moments you can achieve from a poem which both tells us the story of your son.

Think of how Silvia Plath was able to do this- write personal and universal at the same time. As I suggested, too many poets in my opinion hide behind the poem...why? If you are able to talk about it then there is a poem that can be made. From the current poem this reader gets none of your intent from this poem, it becomes an abstraction. My take.
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Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Looks like a poem about your character loosing someone very close to the illness or blindness or something unexpectedly affecting the person.
It is very emotional poem with feverish rhythmic flow. It took my attention, keeping me tense untill last stanza which I read as the readiness of your character to accept and share the fate of his friend.
Great write. Emotionally true and complex.

IRiz

to Eumolpus and you will see what the poem is about. You do have it somewhat right. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Geezer.
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author comment

they fear to become schizophrenic
and suffer from anxiety neurosis (at times) mostly 12 th borns
so a good psycho could come
to you and his help
may be

seek one
if its not only an insecure poem
may this vision be of some help

even dementia in young ones
is not strange these days

have you consulted any doctors? It could be diagnosed as Alzheimer's onset. Sorry to say it but yes, sometimes it starts so early ( fifties or even esrlier).There might be a chance to do something to help him.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

some doctors and they haven't made a diagnosis yet, still have appointments to make and go to. The possibility has been put forth that he has early onset Alzheimer's, but it's not likely. They are suggesting it is a chemical imbalance and there are more tests to be done. Thank you for your concern, ~ Geezer.
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