Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

LIMITED

My knees hurt so much today
I decided home I'd stay
And watch the autumn sun so bright
journey from the dawn to night

The sky is not all pure and blue
within it fluffy puffballs grew
morphing as they drifted past
outpacing shadows that they cast

Between the earth and drifting cloud
flocks in migration cry out loud
as they sojourn to southern lands
in large flocks or scattered bands

The color green which once held sway
is growing scarcer every day
as leaves' true colors now emerge
in a bright riotous splurge

Fire ant mounds now upward creep
as their occupants dig deep
to escape the coming days of frost
before the summer's warmth is lost

Tales now turn to spooks and witches
as frost flowers adorn the ditches
and shops fill with pumpkins and candy
along with costumes both grotesque and dandy

The air is crisp with hints of smoke
as wheat and oats from fields now poke
bitter persimmons at last turn sweet
a feast for wild creatures to eat

I'd like to stroll for miles today
to watch leaves fall and pine trees sway
but legs and pain ban me from trails
so I sit at home, record details

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Comments

very good to see you again...the beautifull scenes of Fall you have created in such minute detail are very lively...hope it provided the soothing for your knees...

best wishes...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I am also pleased to see you again raj. I try to just write what I know and see.........scribbler

author comment

Your imagery is fantastic here Scribe and I apologize for not spending more time in here of late.
I hear you said about your knee and I hope you are doing better today. Now back to the poem:

There is so much vision in this write and I just admire you for putting it all together in this clever write. I loved how you ended it as this whole poem had a lovely flow to it and you rounded it off to a T meaning TERRIFIC!!!! Miss talking at you and reading you. A lot going on in the family at this time so I have been distracted and not enough hour in the day. I await also for Neopeot to come full force as I miss all the features of the old site. I believe before the holidays are here we will be back in full swing.

Blessings to you on a fine write my friend.
Stay well
Mona
xoxo

Good to hear from you Mona. I am sure there are days to come when I will also be unable to spend the time here I'd like to. So pleased you enjoyed this little scribble. I expect Andrew and Co. are doing all they can to get things back to normal......scribbler

author comment

Hmmmm.... isn't poetry meant to bring folks together in spirit at least ? I'm very pleased you enjoyed this......stan

author comment

I'm glad the weather has turned for you as I had guessed you to be a lover of hot weather. Thank you for the read and kind comment and hope you are better soon ........stan

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.