Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Light And Love

Light & Love
Take my hand till we walk amidst this trodden land
Eyes filled with a tint of mystic dew
We have bitten off far more then we could chew
The lens on the cap was dented & torn
Some even curse the day that they were born
A heart that goes through a whole mixed of emotions
Light and love out of heaven from above
It's my belief that for instant relief a hug is the acceptable way
Long lines in church so we can humbly bow to pray
The doorway to a brighter place amidst the turmoil & pain
Lest I refrain another episode lying deep in my brain
To lover's cross the pathway destined for them to embrace
Shades of grey in a temporal smile still to know all the while
The hidden pain that one feels from deep inside
A flight of fancy makes me want to turn & run away to hide
She dances in a ring of fire yet throws off the challenge with a shrug
It is so sweet when two hearts are deeply in love
Let's look to the wandering soul in which to explore
Spring forth to take your positions hence the opened door
Trees are brilliant in the middle of the day's sun
A bitter sweet tale to have a little bit of fun
Light & Love with deep happiness to achieve
A beacon of light to a much hurting world in need

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage: 

Comments

Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
It becomes very hard to give honest critique.

It is a lovely poem. Would some suggestions re word choice, editing and meter be acceptable?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.