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Life's latter lessons

Drunk on the possibility of love and truth and passion
I handed him the last years of my youth and vigour
And starved my heart and soul on the empty calories of hope,
and crumbs of wishful propositions
which he sucked the life from as he turned to leave for any stray distraction
Yet I am blessed for his deception
The leaving and the liberation crown the angel of redemption
My silent shame and torture ended
And his ignorance and rigid gap removed
My freedom stole in quietly to claim me
Like a hushed accomplice gathering a straggler to the fold
And then the wings
The joy of the ascension
The waking of the soul that had been pummelled to a shadow of its essence
Unfolding like a creature newly slipping from cocoon
I wondered later, how I could allow such deprivation of my precious self?
The jewel inside that keeps the seeds of joy
And all my life I nurtured and protected that of others
In their vulnerable forms
I never learned to do that for my own
And as my summer fades I begin Life's latter lessons

Last few words: 
I wrote this some time ago, not so long... the final letting go & gratitude of such, form an abusive spouse. It's a Phoenix story, rising from the ashes to be reborn far more beautiful & rich with what I had all along, but what I put aside for his ego's sake... certainly not rich with $ he took most of what he did not deserve & everything else... but there you go, I feel I came out the richer in many ways... & there's always his "unwanted child"... I always wanted him & he is the biggest treasure of all... You can find jewels in every difficulty.
Editing stage: 

Comments

A nice piece of writing, i love the line, and starved my heart and sole on the empty calories of hope. The only ctiticism i have is the way it's presented, maybe you could work on this a little. But apart from that i think this is a great poem. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Dear Roscoe, please forgive me, it has been a pretty frantic month or 2 & I enrolled i 2 workshops here which ate up (not regretfully) all my time.... I must have glanced at this & meant to return & then been too often distracted...

So, late response to your kind approval & suggestion... Thank you, I'm glad you found something in this write & I am keen to know what it is you refer to when you suggest I could work on the way I "present" the poem? Do you mean the spacing, the length of lines, surely not the font (I think we don't have other options there), or the actual lines & verbiage... I am happy to edit, but am not sure what you are referring to.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

I very much liked the line that Roscoe pointed out! You have written a very expressive poem about a painful and one-sided relationship. I can very much relate to this as I have had this previous experience in my life. I have but one suggestion:

In line 1:
Drunk on the possibility of love and truth and passion
how about instead:
Drunk on the possibility of love, truth and passion

Great poem!
always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Hi Cat, as above, I must have glimpsed there were messages & meant to come back to them, but been distracted (very) by the workshops, sorry for not responding earlier.

Yes, I see your point entirely about the "And" repetition, & I know the way you wrote it runs far smoother, I tried it, & I just feel it doesn't have the impact I was after though... It's true your comment might make a better poem grammatically. so kudos to you for that, but I will leave it for another day (& remember to return this time) to try it on again, in case I am just being foolish about changing my "baby" (do you ever get like that about something you write?)... Maybe it's a form of nostalgia... or stubborn silliness... I do try to come back to it fresh though if someone shows me it might be better.

Always nice to hear from you Cat, hope all is well.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

If you really go by your signature "My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first", I think you showed that right here.

I'm also glad you filled in the "last few words" portion. It gave me more to relate to. Like Cat stated, this poem really is expressive. The metaphors you threw in were something to marvel at.

I guessed form our previous convo that this poem will have a happy end to it. You delivered just that, and made my day too.

If this reflects your true character, then I must say you have a strong spirit. Some of us are yet to get to that point, but it does take time.

This is a wonderful poem. I found the lines to be a bit long though, but that's not a problem at all. It's great. Just that.

ps: Is there a tinge of sadness in the very last line? : "And as my summer fades I begin Life's latter lessons"

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Hi William, sorry this is a month overdue, but I remember reading this, but not having time to respond... then all the workshops began & we all got busy... actually, I haven't heard from you for a while so I hope all is ok...

Thanks for your lovely comments & I will certainly look at the line length I think possibly that may have been part of Roscoe's comment too.

I am glad my poems reflect my signature... & yes I will say that it takes time to get past these things smoothly, it's been over 10 years since my husband left, & yes I have finally found a partner who I believe is a true heart & a wonderful being, & loves being loved by me... but it doesn't always take THAT long, so don't feel like there is an e=age ahead of you if you are not there yet... could be tomorrow for all we know. It's a pretty good place to be so I hope it develops for you soon. I suspect you are on your way for sure.

As for the sadness you wondered about in the last lines... not really sadness actually, just acknowledgement of passing time... I don't feel old, or past it, but certainly I am not a young girl any more, I don't mind that though, there is a lot more peace of mind & comfort in my own being now than there was even a few years ago when I felt a whole lot more vivacious, a trade perhaps, but I can live comfortably with it.

Now that the pressure is off a little with the workshops, I will be looking more at what everyone has been writing recently, hope to read you there.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

This piece touched me. When i got caught on like a fish on a hook was when freedom stole you and the part of a straggler pulled into the fold. Pity you realized quite late that you should have a great life. Do hope you are gettin it now.

I like Chei!!, it's how I felt reading your poem recently, perfect term, (I also like Temidayo, is that your name? it is wonderful).

Thanks for visiting & reading here, I feel honoured. (it also meant I caught up on comments I had not realised were here until your comment). Yes, it WAS lovely when the freedom stole me, & in truth it was a long time to be "wasting" away like that, but nothing is ever really wasted & during that time I did lots of other things, including having a beautiful child who I then raised for the most part, on my own... He is now 16 & brilliant, & yes it's a pity I left it that long to realise I should have agood life (chuckle, I like the way you put it!), but at least I realised, some never do sadly eh? & it wasn't TOO late, I still have a lot of life left in me yet luckily... So yep, I'm gettin it now! All good.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

author comment

This piece touched me. When i got caught on like a fish on a hook was when freedom stole you and the part of a straggler pulled into the fold. Pity you realized quite late that you should have a great life. Do hope you are gettin it now.

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