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Life's Cycle

Listen to the sound of rustling leaves,
the voice of the silent trees,
greeting Man and beasts
in each passing breeze.

At times a nudge of the wind
sheds a few leaves to earth,
scattering them with its whimsical flow
without decreasing their worth..

They will become one with the land,
nourishing it further through time
so that the life cycle will not end
the sacrifice continues for a new lifetime

Such is the way of Mother Nature
since the beginning of time...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Not sure if the title is fitting. Anyone has a better idea?

Alid

author comment

A short trip as the breeze touching the trees and all things around, though I think that the breeze is your thoughts, a type of freedom felt and seen with having to move, good write,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

for the visit and the comment. The idea for this piece came to me when I was sending some time alone in the park.;)

Alid

author comment

You have captured the natural progression of life in nature, nature is always purposeful nothing is wasted, but at the same time you have looked into man's life and death plight. "from dust you came and to dust you will return"
so even we have a place in natures scheme. To me the best name for this is "Life's Cycle" which you have already in the third stanza, this title encompasses both man and nature.

They will become one with the land,
nourishing it further through time
so that the life cycle will not end
with their final sacrifice...- I think maybe this- "the sacrifice continues for a new lifetime."
It just keeps the rhythm with the rest of the poem.

Just my opinion and perception.
Eddie
PS. I do like this poem a lot it is well written and I can see that time to contemplate was taken, Bravo!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I agree that nature is a good source of inspiration in a poem. Its just that there are times when I don't really now how to put it into words. Fortunately that's not the case for this one. Glad you enjoy it .

Alid

author comment

alid in everything i have seen in you i have seen your true love for nature, it will not go unremembered, the themes just strike me, you must spend so much time studying nature, and i think you are an awesome poet

but i don't think i spend enough time when it comes to studying nature. Most of the time the ideas for my nature-themed poems came at the spur of the moment which I managed to frame into words.

Alid

author comment
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