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A Life On The Ocean Wave

A life on the ocean wave, ho!
In the olden days of sail
When England's ships were proud and brave
And their crews were very male.

The Captain stood upon his bridge
Looking smart and flash;
But below the decks, the orders were
Rum and bum and the lash.

The bosun went to the main gunroom,
Dick Deadeye at the ready;
Initiation time had come
For little midshipman Freddy.

"Strap him o'er that cannon, lads!"
Roared the hirsute fellow,
"Gag his mouth securely, lads,
In case he tries to bellow."

The sailors did as he had bid -
Refused and they'd be punished -
And they knew their turn would come
After the bosun finished.

The bosun went up the poor young lad
And soon was going strong;
Midshipman Fred looked rather pained -
The Bosun was THICK (and long).

Then came the turn of the other men
And they set to with a will;
Little Fred could not say no
Until they'd had their fill.

What a life our sailors had then,
Always singing shanties;
When men were men and big and butch
And cabin boys wore silk panties.

A life on the ocean wave, ho!
With the rolling sea and the spray.
Sinking the Frogs and murdering Wogs
Made England's sailors gay.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
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How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 


a nasty little nipper,
shoved broken glass
up his arse
and circumcised the skipper.

Were the caps really necessary in "THICK and LONG"?

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... to mention that this poem is dedicated to the memory of Admiral Albert "Pansy" Potter who displayed amazing bravery by wearing full drag through several major sea battles. He was cashiered for insisting the Admiralty rename his ship HMS Gayboy instead of HMS Fearless. Or it may have been because he flew the rainbow flag on a state visit to Sydney.

And I have to confess to having been in two minds about the capitals for THICK and LONG. If italics were available at NP I would have preferred italics. Maybe amend to "THICK (and long)"???

Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

thick and long, thick and long, thick and long.

Yeah, I thought so. The Addvanced formatting feature is far from inuitive but it sometimes works if you copy and paste from Word or other wordprocessors or just select the text and hold Ctrl I for italics and Ctrl B for bold.

New Workshop!-
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Arf Arf,,,

"Sinking the Frogs and murdering Wogs
Made England's sailors gay.",,,,,,,,,,, Oh 'kin 'ell, that was worth getting up for!


See bottom left of this box 'Simple Text' then a drop-down box that says 'Simple Formatting'. Click and choose 'Advanced formatting'. Now open a file in whatever wordprocessor you use. Something with paragraph breaks, line breaks, italics and bold. Copy and paste it in here. Everything preserved? Should be.  Not tabs though, they are programmed in the original application.

See I haven't played with with Advanced formatting much because I'm a bit of a purist, plain old text should, by and large, say it all.

    when I press tab that happens

        that twice.

If I type and press Enter

It makes a paragraph break.

If I type and hold Shift then press Enter
I get a line break like that instead. If I type bold, select the word, hold the Ctrl key and press b I get Bold . Same with italics, Ctrl i I get italics.

With me so far? If I say something naughty and want to get sprung I can use the button on the ribbon above, like some silly cunts so-and-so's do. Bugger, strikethough doesn't work. b̶u̶g̶g̶e̶r̶

That's about it.

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bugger b̶u̶g̶g̶e̶r̶

oo, it works in plain text from b⃫u⃫g⃫g⃫e⃫r⃫ b̶u̶g̶g̶e̶r̶ b⃜u⃜g⃜g⃜e⃜r⃜

New Workshop!-
Critique For New And Old

Seems complicated but I'll try it.

Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment
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