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Lies, fallacies and just plain dumb.

We lose ninety percent of our body heat from our head,
So if you go bare naked in a blizzard in a balaclava
Will you end up dead?

We only use ten percent of our brains
So which ninety percent can we lose?
Without loss of memories, thoughts and pains
Would you care to choose?

This planet infinitely recycles itself,
it will go on forever.
So capitalist dependence on continual growth
is really very clever.

Write your great-grandchildren a letter
(I wouldn't bother with later)
tell them "we really believed these things,
we didn't know any better"

or if you don't like telling lies,
just say,
"Sorry."

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Just love this poem! I like your reasoning: first stanza made me chuckle. He he The second is obvious and yet it escapes most people, the third is so true! Last two made me wonder which one I'd be - the one that makes the excuse or the one that says sorry! - so that one got me thinking. I also like the unusual rhyming scheme which totally suits the poem.

One typo - me thinks So "we" which ninety percent can we lose? - Don't think you need the "we" Unless I'm mistaken!

All in all 10 out of 10 I'd say! :)

Love Mand xxx

Thanks for the typo, fixed now
and thanks for the read.
You have already chosen, in a way, by being actively pro or against capitalism and climate change activism.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Well suited for a society such as ours. As Mand stated, it is clever, humorous, and certainly well-crafted. If I may say so, it is quite arguably one of your best in recent times. Very commendable.

Much appreciated,

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Well thought out poetry with that stick of truth batting
in a cleverly subtle way.

The only critique I can offer is in the title, the
"just plain dumb" part may put some off from
an initial reading, just a suggestion.

thanks for posting

Richard

I would be intrigued.
Perhaps I should hire a polling company [grins]

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

so true

but if you see latest flick
LUCY
you will change your views
from lose
90 percent to
use
100percent
go see
dearest Jess

When I saw that the movie was based on this false premise it put me off going to see it.
Do you make it a practice to change your world views on the basis of sci-fi movies? That could explain a lot.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

It will have to be sorry..
The recycled Planet may cause some problems as our sun runs out of fuel.
Shall we then put the earth on the pyre or leave the area, lol.
We will always chase reality or our concept of it, so maybe I will say sorry or just wait till we meet again, Love you Elf, but that is as all people, I will keep you a drop of your favourite drink on a shelf at the back of my cave,
Yours as always, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

we will have either broken the speed of light barrier and be off colonising other planets or long dead anyway.
Even in its old age a star would experience very little indigestion from a plastic and alloy covered rock.

Look forward to sharing that drink, watching the shadows play in the firelight. What do you think my favorite drink might be?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I shall keep a bottle of the best single malt whiskey there has ever been.
It will be like drinking silk,
Just a note, when we use to go on ship trials, one of the things we were told to take was a woolly hat, in case we had to go in the lifeboats.
As you say most of the bodies heat is lost through the head, is this where spouting hot air comes from???
Yours Ian.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

The term "spouting hot air" is a genetic memory from the time before whales moved onto land and evolved into human beings. The first land whales were so excited about the discovery of "above the world" that they told all their friends about it incessantly and were not believed. Hence "spouting hot air ".

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Those particular fallacies tickle me when people repeat them. We lose heat from our entire bodies equally and use all of brains (just not for conscious thought).
I have no suggestions as to how to improve.
An excellent poem and as previously alluded to, one of your better recent ones (although I tend to like everything you write... I'm a tad biased in that way about my mentor).

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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may you live in the dullest of times (an inversion of the ancient Chinese cure)

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

for your appreciation

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
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