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The lie
What a lie
that I can own the moon,
The untruth
Which makes me think
I can hold the sun
It is selfishness
To believe
that someone feels
As I do
Or expect that love
Will return
Just as light arrives
On a brand new day
Seeing the green grass
Grow to only whither
As winters wind
Begins to blow,
The heart felt chilling
Bitter cold
Which steal away
Springs green glow
How can the freedom
Of truth be known,
When still staring
Into the heart
Of the storm
That is sure to come
Is the sun shining
On the other side,
I don't really know
If my thoughts
Of lasting love
Will die as autumn foliage
sprouting new buds
On the days of sun
All I can do
Is watch the seasons
Come and go,
For I have no control
Of the out come,
I can only hope
That I will get to see
Once again the fluttering
Of a butterfly
Who I will always love.
Is this just a dream
Of when I was young,
Does the butterfly
Really exist in a place
Where I can just sit
And watch it fly,
Or has that butterfly
Already
Passed me by
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem
Favorite Poets
P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...
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Comments
Ian.T
Mon, 2012-01-30 02:54
Eddie
A great piece of writing there the form I leave to others, but as a write it's tops.
The perception that some people give others, as "Oh it will be OK " and other such things is only supportive and not real, the reality of any situation is in your own concept of reality, better for you to know that your grass is greener than anyone else's than tell them.
This would make a good talk and then that game of Dare, Truth and Promise, what the hell, my things are far better LOL.
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-01-30 11:26
Ian,
thanks for the visit, I am one to realize what the reality of a situation is in a given moment. to only go by my own perception is to not take into account the other person. I have learned that I must step in the other persons shoes so as not to delude myself with my on dream of the moment. freedom comes from knowing how the other person really feels. I my love full out, yet even though the other may love me it may not be the way I love them. That is what this poem is about. I have to every now and again check myself so I am not seeing things from just my perception. it is true that love can be blind, and in realizing that i can say that they are not perfect for me and I am not perfect for them. In knowing that, I can work to get pass those little thing that surface later in a relationship to destroy the peace of the dream of what my perception might believe to be true. In other words to see the reality of the other person and only expect what is given and not ask for something that was never promised or spoken. I went to far I think, the mind has a tendence to travel beyond the facts.
again thanks for the read
Eddie
..
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentWilliam Saint George
Mon, 2012-01-30 07:11
I liked this poem, especially
I liked this poem, especially the last stanza. The rhyme summed it up nicely. However, I didn't understand the poem fully, and I had some difficulty reading it.
"Is this just a dream
Of when I was young,
Does the butterfly
Really exist in a place
Where I can just sit
And watch it fly,
Or has that butterfly
Already
Passed me by"
I think this poem lacks a few question marks. It's a good poem. :)
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-01-30 16:38
Will,
ask, i will answer.
it's about how i tend to project my own feeling into a situation without taking into account how the other person might feel. Sometimes, when looking at it in retrospect I feel as if it was just about me. I feel that now i look at the whole picture, but when i was young I did not. I would think to far ahead projecting scenerios that where all possiblilties. Now i just stay in the moment and wait to see how it plays out. I can not control how another person might feel in either case. perception can be a tricky thing. I use nature to metaphoricly explain what I see or has happen, in this case involving my love for someone of the past, who is now in my life again. I don't know if this will help. I have to say those here at Neopoet who have been here as long as I have (four years) and read me capture what I am saying, they know me through my writing. In other words if you read a lot of one writing you can begin to understand how their mind sees things. I am a Taoist, I believe in nature and the mysteries of the universe. I do not believe in a God or any such domesticated thoughts or how the world tends to enforce it's dream on me. So there it is in a Nutshell. I do mean nuts when I refer to myself LMFAO!!
freedom of thought is my belief.
Eddie
...
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentWilliam Saint George
Mon, 2012-01-30 17:08
Now that you explain it, it
Now that you explain it, it makes more sense. A poem always makes sense in context. And the final stanza is really powerful.
No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot
http://www.wsgeorge.com/
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-01-30 21:55
Will,
your are to generous, but I do appreciate the "really powerful" about my last stanza.
I thank you!
Eddie
...
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
author commentCandlewitch
Mon, 2012-01-30 13:43
Dear Eddie,
I liked the form and flow of this piece. The title drew me in. I can see the conflict within your feelings. My favorite lines are:
All I can do
Is watch the seasons
Come and go,
For I have no control
Of the out come,
I can only hope
That I will get to see
Once again the fluttering
Of a butterfly
Who I will always love.
a pensive and deep write which I appreciated. Good language usage, too.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Eduardo Cruz
Mon, 2012-01-30 16:44
Oh Cat,
you do understand, how hard it is when you think a person feels as you do and later find out that the intensity is at different levels. yet to accept this and still love the person no lesser is where the truth lies for me.
Thank you my good long time friend.
Eddie
...
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
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