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Liberty and Loose words
In the beginning
all the words of the world
were stuffed inside a pinata.
They mingled indiscrimately
until "committee" met "jerk".
Because of those two,
the first war of words began.
The chaos was overwhelming
and the pinata burst like a...pinata.
The countryside was littered with
nouns, verbs and explitives,
scattering,
like bugs on an overturned rock,
looking for a voice to inhabit.
Most found a home,
including "committee" and "jerk",
and went straight to multiplying,
like burger franchises
fodder for the fresh war to come.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Mon, 2017-08-14 06:53
so freedom of speach
language itself, leads to jerks and committees?
Nah, sorry, don't get it, mate.
Nice imagery but.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
brittle light
Mon, 2017-08-14 07:34
after thinking on this , I
after thinking on this , I agree
too silly to mean anything
but I couldn't help but try to salvage it
and got to close, blinding myself to its inherent and tragic flaw
so that's that
thanks for the slap back to my senses
Al
weirdelf
Mon, 2017-08-14 08:15
perhaps you are really referring
to the tragic flaws of so-called democracy.
I mean Trump? Fuck off.
Really thinking people refer to consensuality in a way that in the older days during monarchisms people referred to democracy.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Scatterhatter
Tue, 2017-08-15 07:46
I read into it...
I read into it...
Pinata mix up
Spin it round
And bash it
To smitterins
See what spills out
Let the clowns collect......
brittle light
Tue, 2017-08-15 10:11
I wrote it
I wrote it
and it still baffles me
I like the thought "let the clowns collect the spillage"
I'll just let this one go
though I suppose things on the web are forever....scary , huh?
thanks for checking it out
Al