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let time pass

the daunting rays shimmer 
the moonlight in your tears
while the bloomless days of april
mirror the state of your fears

when creepy shadows peep
through the window of our glee,
winter's tattered memories
ponder the spring in your spree

while rampant chords echoed
our nuptial chants that night,
malice invaded languidly
the placid moment's plight

how graciously in defeat
along the mortal crest
passion in one fatal heave
splashed to shattered, labored rest

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Looks like a sad story lies behind these wonderful lines. Some great imagery especially in the first two stanzas. Always curious to know the full story, but this is probably only me.
I have absolutely enjoyed this one despite its sad mood, or perhaps that what really attracted me thee most!
Thank you for sharing

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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thanx for reading... appreciate the inspiring comment.

author comment

I felt the crashing down and seperation of two
I agree with Rula on the point there is something more indeed

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

really appreciate your visit.

author comment

Hauntingly sad. Is death involved here? It's how I read it

A beautifully written poem. Meter is great, wonderfully descriptive opening two verses.

And I simply love 'the spring in your spree' (great edit from 'autumn' there btw)

One little crit - 'night / tide, doesn't rhyme.
Would 'the placid moment's plight' still say what you mean? Or 'bite' or 'smite'? Or 'spite'?

Such a sad write, and I do hope it is an imagined one and not fact
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

really luv your honest comment. will take heed of your suggestion - like 'plight'. fortunately it is only imaginary.

author comment
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