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A Lesson Learned

Submitted by patchdog on Tue, 2018-04-03 12:57

One day my car refused to start,
And no way would it run.
If it had only been a horse,
I'd shoot it with a gun.

But using my diagnostic skills,
Applying what I know.
I figured it would not take long,
Before that car would go.

I got my wrenches from the trunk,
And took some things apart.
I thought the flapper doodle valve,
Was stuck before the start.

So when I pushed the plunger in,
The wankle came undone.
The spring that holds the pop flange down,
Had jumped the number one.

I never gave it any thought,
As I undone the screw.
I slowly lifted up the lid,
And out the dingle flew.

It hit me right between the eyes,
I jumped back in my fright.
The hood latch caught me on the head,
And “Bang” out went the light.

When I awoke the sun was down,
The wrench still in my hand.
It took a while to clear my head,
So I could understand.

The doodle valve, the plunger rod,
The wankle and the spring.
Are held in place by just one screw,
And that means everything.

Remember that beneath the hood,
The dingle coil lies.
So keep your head out of the way,
And watch out for your eyes.

In spite of everything I knew,
And all that came to pass,
The only thing I really learned,
My car was out of gas.

***********

Last few words:

Just a reflection on my sense of houmor

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2018-04-03 15:19

Hello Patchdog...

I really enjoyed your poem, as I am primarily a rhymer too and I thought your sense of rhythm spot on; except for the second line. Just can't seem to get it right in my mouth. The way it fits best, is; "It just wouldn't run." Of course, you may see or say it differently. You are not bound to take anyone's advice here and no one will fault you for it. I hope you enjoy yourself here and participate in any or all of our workshops and the monthly contest. Don't be afraid to ask questions and critique and comment on anyone else's work, this is why we are here; to learn and grow and help each other. Enjoy your time here and make new friends. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

raj

Tue, 2018-04-03 15:23

Pretty humorous

poem which tells me you are a very witty guy....a pleasure read though you may want to edit few lines for them run more easily on tongue.
..................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

themoonman

Tue, 2018-04-03 16:27

Hi,

Welcome to the site. I really enjoyed
your poem, the timing is good and it
is funny.

thanks for sharing

Eumolpus

Tue, 2018-04-03 17:03

Yes fun

As most of us had no idea what you were talking about you could invent any names for anything and we’d believe it...so it totally works for a large audience. Everyone can relate to this poem as well as similar situations like looking for your glasses that you’re wearing ..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

weirdelf

Mon, 2018-04-16 11:00

I love made up words

(I know nothing of mechanics and assume they were made up)

This was a pleasure to read and an excellent punchline.

I look forward to more and your feedback to others.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Neopoet

A Lesson Learned