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Lead gently sweet heart into the night

Lead quietly sweet heart into the night
The first one must remain gentle
Think not of your own confusing delight

Though young men are being polite
None appear to show they are sentimental
Lead gently sweet heart into the night

Bridegrooms never impose upon brides their right
Cuisine they express they like continental
Think not of your own confusing delight

Smart boys always remember the morning twilight
Love their suitors without showing as accidental
Lead gently sweet heart into the night

Loving hubbys always keep theirs in pleasant sight
They admire their state so beautifully ornamental
Think not of your own confusing delight

Now you my friend of the world so bright
Have had a wonderful experience soft and gentle
Lead kindly sweet heart into the night
Think not of your own confusing delight

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This is a challenge but FREESTYLE Villanelle Minus the syllables count of which I am incapable.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

piece lovedly. (I told you that you are wonderful). Please keep composing in this form, as you add to your repertoire they will become easier to write. Soon they will be as easy as falling off a log (well almost).

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

This piece is conversion in the present form ....of an advice I gave years ago to a young virgin who was scared of the wedding night being inexperienced.

It took me almost 2 hours to compose.
Thanks for the
wonderfullness.
Alan
rgds..

author comment

Wonderful, Lovedly!
You and Alan are inspiring. I'll give this form another whirl very soon.
Thank you!
L

syllabylise it for me kindly I am free styler only

author comment

From what Alan has suggested, I believe the syllable count must always be ten. Just looking at your poem, you may want to change a different word here and there for something that fits the count. For example: instead of "the first one" you may want to change to "the first encounter" which will give you the correct syllable count. (Just an example. Encounter is not a very romantic word.) In other areas, it looks like you could trim a few words away and still have your meaning. I am excited to try this form again.
Thank you, Lovedly!
L

Coming back to edit: I believe I read correctly that 19th c. villanelles had 6 - 8 syllables, and 20th c. had 10. So much to learn!

Your right
now first one
you write

author comment

And it ripples like liquid music when spoken aloud. Thank you so much for sharing.
~

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

for your ripples
lets hope more will

author comment
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