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the last thing I saw

The last thing I saw
Was the soft
Silvery smoke
Of my burnt
Brown cigar.
Swirling round
and round
Forever
Bounded
In darkness.
My eyes then
Cried their last
tears as all
Thoughts and fears
Slowly disappear
without a care.
Just like the
Smoke as it fades
into the air.

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Edward,
I hope to hear more regarding the meaning of this one, although it feels a bit private. In a way, it reminds me of William Carlos Williams' "The Red Wheelbarrow" - brief and direct while using color as a bold statement. I really like it. There are a couple places where plural and singular words seem to conflict: "my eyes then cried its (their) last tears" and "thoughts and fears slowly disappears (disappear). I really like the form and the flow and rhythm, they enhance the image of the swirling, silvery smoke.
Thank you!
L

Well I relates to death as you are the smoke and the cigar is life you fly of the cigar and seemingly swirl into the unknown realm of darkness.

Thank you

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

I really like this, Edward.
Thank you!
L

Exquisite. So very subtle yet obvious, it almost seems sad that you could write this at such an age, you really have a special talent.

Thank you...Teddy

Thank you

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

beautifully picturesque. Thank you for sharing this verbal painting.
~

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

“If one hears bad music it is ones duty to drown it out with conversation”
Oscar Wilde the picture of Dorian gray .

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment
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