Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

last drive

I drove them through the mountains
the winding roads
in clouds washed screens
could hardly see the road ahead

so watched the rear view mirror clean
they were entwined
like a serpent and a bottle of wine..
corked up then their hands,
drove
it was slightly cold I switched on the heat
they warmed up smiled
so it seemed...

thank you
could he have heard through the darkened glass
such awakening and in my nerves a striking lightening

I stepped on the gas
as they did on their back then all I heard was a crash
I was in bed in hospital unheard unseen
where had the two gone
not even heaven knows
one buried
another married
to the dead in person

none knows the plight of the two lovers
in the coldness of the wilderness,
wrapped up and caught into a permanent delirium,

where was I
Oh come on
now it’s commonsense.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I have written a short story of a page or more very similar to this sort of write, it is hard to put these things into poetry.
You would have to separate the feelings and turn each of them into part of an epic type poem.
This still reads as a story just needs a little care on the theme's presentation, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

does it or doesn't it remind you or one
of Diana and her last consort,
since buried ,
as she lay in hospy
and the driver became an apparition ,
well ahead of time
Have a cool reread

loved

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.