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The Last Christmas Present (DECEMBER CONTEST)

Silence sliding through the fog.
Never number the days of loss.
Smiles surrender lives to forgive.
A heart that shall die refusing to live.

Sunshine cannot escape this gloom.
The wooden box that is her tomb.
A hand that reaches out to grasp;
This Greek tragedy that is my past.

Yuletide brings not ‘round it’s cheer.
Dear Gods, I’m guilt-struck every year!
I cannot tell you the day she died,
Though she beat a drum of suicide.

That rhythm plays inside my addled head.
A violin whispers, as if from the dead.
The twilight brightens sunsets rose sky.
I’m here to mend what you left behind.

As I think I’m rounding that last bend,
I look at my “Son”, and that’s truly the end.
Selfishness reigned and rage, yes, it lingers.
As ever, shifting blame. Always, pointing fingers.

And then I am back in the depression pose.
Like the thorns on the stem of a delicate rose.
I will prick you, I’ll hurt you however I can.
Hear your footsteps retreat, and all the doors slam.

The tree's decorated, all stocking's are hung.
Suicide overcome. Festivities have begun.
My Brother's my Son, that's how that came to be.
And that was her last Christmas present to me.

April Dawn

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Sorry this is in this vein. I hope it doesn't get tossed out and erased from the server. This is my personal perspective of the holiday based on my own life experience. Please do not take offense... If you read it lol!
Editing stage: 


The holiday seasons Can be depressing for a lot of people and many reasons.

This is amazing... This is really good. One day I'll write like you.


very sombre mood and sentiments expressed here...word choice is good ...may be punctuation marks at some place you may want to revisit...

many good lines but I liked this the most "Like the thorns on the stem of a delicate rose"..

raj (sublime_ocean)


Like the thorns on the stem of a delicate rose

just beautiful middle and last lines

Hope Iriz picks em up
for her Instagram
may I welcome thee
to be a NEOPOEE

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