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lapsed sanity

I caress the black
leaning into its soft
velvet hold, hoping
to blind the agony

but,
the reflection of my sadness
overwhelms and sickens
I swallow nails with each gulp
food carries the stench of death

uncaring of a torn psyche
I continue to look back
searching my mistakes
rehashing every word

with each glance at our end
a slice of sanity is lost
and consistently shaking
my anchor is breaking loose

I dream into nothingness
becoming a lost beggar
who can never come home
for it is barren and bare

profound truth eludes me
despair cloaks me in ashes
as my sight ebbs to fade
I begin to slide away

I awake to each breathless day
in the realm of the forgotten
lying with the shredded ribbons
of my love scattered to ground

this long endless night
echoes with silent howls
and the dripping tears
bled from my crucified heart

in this self-made prison
I am now living death alone

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage: 

Comments

This one elicits goosebumps and shivers! I know its not a horror piece, but there are certain aspects of it that are a bit frightening to us mediocre souls! Needless to say, it is typical of your talented pen, and shows your poetic forte in brilliant colors!

I wasn't sure about posting this one to be honest its a very personal piece there is an aspect of horror, the horror of the situation it just seemed that every time I turned around something else was falling apart in my life, I have been writing lately to try and relieve some of the stress its my outlet, we all go through hard times in life I guess this is the one that will make me or break me

thanks for your very kind comment its nice to know it wasn't just a piece of toilet paper lol

love to you both JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

The profoundness of these verses had me awestruck largely due to the way each line expresses grief, sorrow, void and much more...

raj (sublime_ocean)

You read me well I tried very hard to put into words the feelings I was going through and still am, I don't know that I have actually fully expressed my feelings yet, to me the words just aren't enough I have done nothing over the last few nights but write out my pain, its a relief from the building up of overwhelming emotions

thank you so much for your time and your read its always appreciated

love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

of how I often feel...it's despair that is too dark to imagine. Somehow, I pull through in the end, and always ask why. But I get no answers.

Great poem. :)

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

I'm in the pit battling to keep my head above water at the moment so I know fully what you speak of, I wish I could say it was just mental illness that was causing my pain but life has sent some tests for me and I am endeavoring to get through it all in one piece, I don't know that I will ever get any answers to my current situation, somehow I seem to get through things in life but I can honesty say I have never been in the dark quite like I am at the moment, my poetry is my lifeline to sanity and I am trying to keep my head together

I am very happy you thought it a good poem thanks for your time and the feedback

kindest regards Jayne-Chloe x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

A very deep expressive work of lost feelings and the agony of the mind when everything seems to have turned to worms.
What can I say, only that your one line where you say:-
I awake to each breathless day.
Hold that within your frame and the fact that you awake each breathless day is a gift.
Know that we walk with you and will share all things, the footprints on the lawn are too heavy, they just need a little sunshine in the soul,
As always, Ian.T xxx

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Everything has certainly turned to worms but as you say I wake up each day and go through the motions of living such as it is, I laughed today actually scared myself when I did lol I guess there is still life left I just have to find the small miracles that surround me I know they are there but the veil is still too dark and its hard to shift at the moment, I take a breath hold it to me and do it again just one breath at a time

I am sorry I have been dragging my feet on the lawn I will try and leave some nice light footprints so as not to crush the grass

thank you for your continued support it means more than you could ever know

my love always Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Wow! This has such powerful descriptive words - it is impossible not to be moved by the feeling of bleakness and despair so vividly expressed in this poem. Insanity is a terrible place to be.

I can't pick a best line or phrase they are all so good.

Love Mand xxxxxx

I wish this was just about insanity, its about losing oneself in the midst of a great loss and trying to hold onto the strands of sanity in the process, I tried very hard to put into words my feelings of loss and despair it seems that I was close to the mark, I have more pieces composed over the last couple of weeks they are pretty much all as dark as this piece, I set myself a challenge yesterday to write something not quite so dark but its hard when your sitting in a dark place to find a slice of light to cast your gaze

I am very glad you thought it a good piece it came from truth and I find they are always the ones that seem to hit home

much love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
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