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In the Land of James and Ruby Sky

I wish you would fly me to your castle
Wings of eagles push me as a cloud
Softly I fall pillowed and finding that
You’re the warmth of a tropical waterfall

Street lights and pianos you are Rhapsody in Blue
I wish to go deeper into the melodies of you
Dance along sprinkle rain down a main street
Or an avenue meant for me and you

As deep as can be I feel you blue and true
Where peacocks and flutterbys
Feel your whisper of silence for royal red roses
Framed with parrots knowing they are home

In the land of James and Ruby Sky
Where vision is a foreign language
That everybody finds attractive
Unknowingly we exist

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

and Ruby Sky is a perfectly intriguing title. I wish I knew where it is. I think I'd like to sail there.

Thomas

....so like my lost dreams...the flood

Surrealism..

Hi Triskelion...great to see you,
.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

I won't even need to cast off. Cool take on the challenge, mister.

Thomas

....so like my lost dreams...the flood

Life is already a distorted vision eh?
Later, oh btw Jim is the artist and ruby sky part of his vision.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

I've read this four times now and it get better every time,
I like that you leave it to the reader as to where the punctuation should be,

Glad to report that its ambiguous enough to leave me wanting more!!

Obi.

Surrealistic indeed! Enjoyed this one Mark! Outstanding lines:
- Or an avenue meant for me and you
- Where vision is a foreign language that everybody finds attractive

These are where the poetry lies for me - well done!

Best

Michael Anthony

you all help me feel good this morning,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment
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