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Ladies do Count ...a lot

Ladies do Count…a lot

A lady lives by numbers because
she wants to be petite,
She keeps on counting calories
hoping men fall at her feet.

When a shoes too small,
she’ll still make it fit.
Says there's no pain at all,
through teeth she must grit.

If a dress is loose the smile
never leaves her face,
though it looks like a tent
she’ll wear it with grace.

The material will stretch,
the pins all go pinging.
She’ll either feel like a wretch,
or off she’ll go singing.

Into a skirt she’ll squeeze,
saying it fitted last year.
too terrified to sneeze.
in case it will tear.

There coolly sits the man,
belly hanging over his waste.
While on her fiftieth diet plan,
he gave her a little taste.

Of the purist tasting chocolate,
she’d tasted in a while.
So tasty to the palate,
they'd gone ate it in style.

Then drinking some red wine,
and being a touch inebriated.
Feeling young as a flirty feline,
her will had soon abated.

Exhausted they lay there,
his chocolate was sublime.
Sweat dripped from her hair,
they’d lost track of time.

But the calories they’d burned,
now started to make pounds.
How quickly her libido turned,
on her diet, he’d knocked out of
bounds.

So she’d have to be dedicated,
do some extra jogging after tea.
Start doing the stuff she hated,
all for some chocolate with
little old me.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Just some fun i hope...
Editing stage: 

Comments

and yes you're right in most of what you have stated. Never generalize though. lol

Some typos need your attention:

S2 L2 too small
S5 L3 too terified
S 6. sit(')s

Thanks for sharing

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I would never generalize, this is just a bit of fun. I will sort out my typos, glad you enjoyed this. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

This one felt forced to me. It didn't have that usual flow I look forward to when reading your work.

Thanks,

Scott

Scott

I apologize, i sort of ran through this as i wrote it. I will have a look and smooth it out. Thank you Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Wow.
For the first time in a long time, I actually find something in your work to criticize!

"waste" should be "waist".

"through teeth she does grit" is too passive, to me.

"through teeth she must grit" implies she has no choice, is more immediate, and reads better, with the softer consonant.

This is way good my friend, I LOVE the ending!

LOL

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Thank you Jim, i will amend my mistakes and i like your suggestion for the shoes Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Jim i was in the process of editing, in particular the part about my spelling of waist. And then i thought of the bizzar, that a reader might come to think of this as correct, as in anything below there is waste. So i thought i would leave it for now, and see what you thought. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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