this one! You have gotten into a killer's mind. Or maybe a killer's mind has gotten into you! It certainly is a release of tension, to write like this. I urge you to come to my Chat on the darkside. i think you have much to offer. Great thought put into this one! ~ Gee

Jesus H. Krist! Have you no soul, man?

lol I lika this poem, the rhyme & meter...wayyyy cool. You bad boy you.

~A

Okay, if this is a post for our storytelling workshop, I think you might need an exposition to explain the exposition. Actually, I think I got the gist. By itself this is a wickedly dark piece. Whether this is a successful exposition will depend on the next part. You seem to have enough pieces for a solid start, but they will have to be clarified as you go on. I'm withholding my "grade" until I see where this heads.
As poetry, it is one of the most subtle, outrageous things of yours I have read.
Creepy.
Disturbing.
Wonderful.
Don't leave us with only this.
wesley

Ism...Im a horror fan from Poe to Rob Zombie..(Love his wife)

fantastic peice of poetry here!
our many pet names for our fiction lusts urges appetites
(Neo Petz) Im on Human Pets, thats a trippy place too!

Glad you delve into this Doc
more common ground then one thinks
and now with the modern free for all Interior Net

Thank You

movies in the dark lair of human hearts
I loved David Lynch still do
Twin Peaks of course
and Blue Velvet
Isabella Rossellini
and Dennis Hopper as Frank

many of the convicted killers
for multiple crimes wrote poetry
and drew sketchs and painted
pictures
those of course were the ones
caught..many were just rather
dull ordinary people
existing in a belief system that
existed outside society

I watch a lot of the "profilier" shows
these days and loved "Dexter"
on television

"dissed-urbia" love that twist!

bounding in the night
the ordinary farmhands
full of passion for a kill
not unlike those they chase

perverted logic

but one duly noted
why does man hate the Lion maneater
(Great movie about the legendary african
lion who consumed many before finally
being brought down only by a great feat
of work)

or the wolves that once ran in packs
and still occasionally try to drag the unsuspecting
away by the head.. (alaska??) a few years ago
anyway..Their jaws more powerful then any
domesticated dog..They can crush moose
bones apart for marrow treats

Chernobyl they are taking over the territory vacant
and gaurded from the poison of radiation which
is still powerful..feeding on the other animals
filling in where man has left
Nature taking over her own too

Exposition and complication. Check. A bit too inferred for my taste, but solid nonetheless. And before I get too far... this is good poetry. A wicked, wandering mode that kept me glued.
Now, the climax. I don't know. I am big on stressing that a climax need not be thunder and lightning. Small, subtle things make for a climax as well as small nuclear devices. This seemed to have none of the above. There was never that moment of "whoa" I need to see in a climax. The piece resolved itself, but it resolved to the old status quo. We were made to understand our protagonist's "Nightmare" scenario, but nothing changed after that. Essentially, the poem is one great exposition/complication. We are left still needing things to come to a head and change. Great poetry, but only the beginning of great storytelling.
Do not misunderstand... what you produced is riveting. Maybe some of your best verse. As a story it is unfinished.
wesley

Exposition is sound and now a clearer complication. A body in the tub. Did he kill it? Someone else?
The problem with our resolution is that it does not resolve into a NEW status quo. We are left with everything pretty much where it was. Our protagonist is freaked out (and possibly quite nuts), I'm still not sure if he's really committing murders or just imagining them, but that's neither here nor there. A climax is when our complication comes to a head. I just discussed this with Moonman. Our character must be forced to a scenario in which decisions must be made and consequences suffered. Whether they are good or ill is the art of the story. But there must be consequences of our complication that when we resolve things have changed.
Now, I still think this is some of the best poetry you've written and standing alone as a poem it is creepy as hell (that's a good thing).
As a story we still must progress beyond our status quo.
wesley