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A Kingfisher Day

When the morning first is born
With darkness on the run.
Warmth and light then greet the morn'
And make the way for sun.

When night-time creatures take their bed
And daytime things appear;
That's the time, I've often said,
When heaven is most near.

To stand and view the coloured show
With flowers of each kind;
The vivid hues of petals glow,
They intoxicate your mind.

To walk amongst the dewy grass
Which sparkles in the light.
Their blades salute you as you pass
And chase away the night.

To look above and see the sky
As blue as blue can be.
To stand below and wonder why
The blue is all you see.

Except the sun invades the blue
And golden splendor cast;
A vestige that the day is new
And yesterday is past.

This day is noble, like my bird,
A beauty to behold.
This day is special, take my word;
Vivid, sparkling, blue and gold.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This is the first 'proper' poem I have ever writ. I wrote it in 1973, aged 22, and it was published in a UK countryside magazine. It has been used a few times since then, though I still own copyright. In the (very small) place where I was raised, if a summer day was cloudless and the sky above was topaz blue with the sun shining with all its solar heart ~ golden beyond compare ~ we called it a 'Kingfisher Day' as these were the colours that the kingfisher wore when he out angling in the shade by a cool stream. I had penned a good few efforts prior to that but they always tasted of Mr. Kipling (my favourite writer of then-abouts ~ I even had a dalmation named Kim). This was my first attempt to shake off RK. Compliments to all at Neo. ~ Alan
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

you paint such a beautiful picture with your words and make it easy for the minds eye to see it all

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The kingfisher has done all the work here. All I did was jot it down in a notebook. It was, though, quite exiting to to see your first 'serious' poem on a printed page.

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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

Well if the kingfisher isn't beautiful enough you have just made it into magic. Your talent is obviously clear as you wrote this at 22 years old. May I pay my compliments and say that the imagery is outstanding and your last lines given all to this magnificent kingfisher. Now I shall go throw all my poems in the bin.

Thank you...Teddy

Although I often do. You can always rework things later on. Margaret Atwood said that a writer's best friend is the waste bin and she is one of the worlds finest so she must be right ~ or, in any case, not wrong. I had to blow a lot of dust off this manuscript (still typed out on an old manual typewriter) so I hope it didn't make you sneeeeeeze.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

I agree with comment made by Chrys. I often wonder how some of you have such ease with rhyme, an area I struggle with.

Be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

I think that rhyme is so very wonderful and descriptive. I think that the art of rhyming is down to practice. I used to make (silly) little rhymes up at school (still do sometimes) and it becomes easier as you go on. I also write songs where rhyming is more or less essential. Sonnets, villanelles, etc are impossible without rhyme. Try not to be too ambitious at first, keep it short and clever. You will surprise yourself. I look forward to reading some of your rhyming work here on Neo.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

Thanks Alan for the tips. I am trying and working on it presently in a poem I am writing for the workshop....let's see how it works out...

Be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Hi, Alan,
A splendid poem complimenting a splendid bird - or is it the other way around? Bright and bold, yet gentle and serene. Your poem is refreshing and invigorating. "Their blades salute you as you pass..." Friendly, eager little guys.
Thank you!
L

If you photograph a thing of beauty there you have it forever. Instead of taking the picture all you have to do is write down what you see and there's your poem. As with the photo, the surroundings are equally as important ~ trees, plants, and so on. The next time you walk through the dewy grass, alone in the early morning, you will see that the blades of grass form a guard of honour just for you ~ they really do L.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

That will be pretty wonderful...
L

since I've walked in the dewy grass, but your poem brings it back so vividly! We rarely see Kingfishers around our parts, but my sister usually has one that she sees at her pond in the country. Truly a remarkable bird that embodies the early morning. I enjoyed this much. ~ Geez.
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you don't see many kingfishers around your home, Geezer, is because it has been 'awhile' since you walked out in the dewy grass. Sounds to me like your sister is the brains of the outfit.
I'm pleased you enjoyed the kingfisher poem, birds are easy to write about.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

venture to guess, that the reason I don't see them around here, is because the river is a couple of miles from my house. I live in the city, so it doesn't lead to seeing many water-birds in my yard. ~ Geez.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

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