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Killing by meter

I will kill especially you
Kill you, Kill you, Kill you, Kill you, Kill you,
death by Iambic Pentameter

I will definitely kill you
Kill you, Kill you, Kill you, Kill you, Kill you,
death by Trochaic Pentameter

I will kill you right now
Kill you now, Kill you now, Kill you now, Kill you now,
death by Anapestic Tetrameter

I will definitely kill you, now
Kill you now, Kill you now, Kill you now, Kill you now,
death by Dactylic Tetrameter

Any way I think you're dead
I play a beat upon your head
death by irregular front stress
and Iambic tetrameter,
what a bloody mess.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Just a teaser for the meter workshop, but I like it [grins]. Do note the different feeling of the different meters for the same words.
Editing stage: 

Comments

You really studied poetry in school. I need a lot of learning now. By the way, I'm watching a scene in a disgusting movie right now, in which an older women is thrashing the young girl who slept with her husband.

Just wanted to say so.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

the only "schoolish" bit is learning the names of the types of meter, and hey, you just learned them by reading this poem.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

The poem is not only a marvelous tool, it's amusing. Now, as to your fascist comments... can you sense the voodoo doll? wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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all striking at once! Put the doll away please! You know I was being purposely provocative to start a discussion, why the hell would I run a workshop on meter if I didn't truly believe in its value?

Redemption is hard to do, can't you buy it on Ebay?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

And it got me off my dead ass. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

From this example (and poem) I have learned that I relate to "death by Iambic Pentameter" and eddy styx best relates to: "Trochaic Pentameter". Now I just need to be able to pronounce them and spell them! And this gave me a hearty chuckle!

Any way I think you're dead
I play a beat upon your head
death by irregular front stress
and Iambic tetrameter,
what a bloody mess.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

just remember the terms, they are essential.

Alex liked it too, but unlike Eddie, he can't write for shit.

I'm really glad you can feel the difference in the forms, you are more than half way to learning meter.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I wrote a meter shit, that should be dead I guess
murdering bastards.
see further down, my answer to this meter,
Eddie
this is some crazy ass shit. I do think I like it.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I'm gonna save this. As an aside the meter is all over the place and that's My forte lol.........stan

I'm Jess the mess
diddle diddle diddle dum
with the extra stress
diddle diddle diddle dum
no matter how hard I try to scan
I always end an also ran
I'm Jess the mess
diddle diddle diddle dum

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

clearest example i've read, of the correct stresses
THANK YOU
(copied and pasted in my meter file!)

the laugh at the last stanza was a bonus

cheers
p

seems to be killing my old ways
making me feel I haven't started
to write, I see meter measuring
so i take a ruler along with pen
to make the edges run straight
till there is nothing more to write
this meter thing is killing softly
but for my faith in reincarnation
I would have deemed it doomed
so I hope to write better pieces
Thank you Jess, for killing me

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

with meter.

A hint, don't count the syllables, count the units of meter, 'feet'. The lines will often be visually quite different lengths, it is all in what it sounds like spoken aloud.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I didn't understand a shit
Bullocks
I understand all this shit
Bullocks
I just almost wrote some shit
Bullocks
Is this good or bad shit
bullocks
who can tell what is really shit

well that's my try, is it right or wrong?
Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

it is in the sound when spoken normally

I didn't understand a shit
Bullocks
I understand all this shit
Bullocks
I just almost wrote some shit
Bullocks
Is this good or bad shit
Bullocks
who can tell what is really shit

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

of course not feel ashamed, your body of work speaks for itself.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

To convert feet to metres multiply by .3048. Easy peasy!

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

but in the workshop please don't introduce these quips about the terminology, it will only confuse people.

I had quite enough bullshit from Crud and Yenti in the last workshop about the terminology. It s useful and we will use it. Saying da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM every time we refer to Iambic Pentameter is just dumb.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
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