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Kill Candy ,,,revised

come here with the jackknife and see what I'm made of
i'm kill candy she said
taffy and blood
a steaming deli
doomed chicken of the sea
doll parts, splayed pomegranates
femurs left in a urinal; wish bones
eviscerations to admire
peaches and cream sprinkles
skin like cold grey soap
barbed wire orgasm's spas
like a toilet flushing
spirographic squiggles
at the museum of modern art

video girl
video girl
video girl
like
butter flies flutter bye

dead movie star dancing
a matinee cyclops
everybody wants a glitter fuck
incandescent hemorrhoid candy store
a piece of her to take home in little bite size chunks
in a heart shaped pink box leaking red meat
enshrined crucifix; kosher
an orgy of heretics like me

god is whatever is in your heart
i pray to modernism
to be saved
by sex death and resurrection
and a bigger dick
impregnation ghoul
like a solar phallic hero
sex heroine
a Bedouin and a Jew sucking each other off
at a New York City Holiday Inn
while the Kabbalah and Koran read each other

I packed the suit case
with a yellow mucous colored rubber tube, a razor and stockings
I don't know what ill do with it, but ill think of something

God spins death
so why cant you; or are you to good for that
albeit a narrow construction
to carve my fate in such short order

ill get into my short short funeral skirt and girly bobbles
ill go up and down on you like a yoyo
sea Venus foaming clitoris
til you flip me over
a deli sandwich
and cut me in two
splattered ketchup
on the blue plate special; extra mayo
while a huddled sabbath of assholes, extra virgin
groan like Pisgah turned to mulch

indigo shards suicide note
ending in
i don't mind
and precise instructions
please chew slowly while I suck on your teeth
stuck rot
while still kissing you
better bring a napkin and floss

you know I would get hot,
seeing my one way ticket next to your return one

wish we could
kill candy
pastel chew
blood bubblegum
melts in my mouth like quicksand
hissing fruity drops looping
you go down like squid
clawing your way back up half chewed with that hurt look
making wet mud holes blink
dark vapors tear my eyes

you wont need a head stone
your feet will look good sticking out of the ground
with anklets
a fashionista
except upside down
your funeral; a foot kissing ritual
religion; follow dead feet, to paradise

head down ass up
you know; the position of power

your the new aeon
grave stone arches with toe ring twinkles
rectitude striving
hot head buried in dirt
antagonizing worms
because your to hot to chew
like molten core

a zombie vagina
velvet tabernacle
smooth leg art
and pretty pointy toes
ascending
where glitter lights shine
pickle brine
green
in a
Promethean foot fetish ballet
phantasmagorias dark embrace

this is no ordinary love

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
a poem about the non-rational sacred untethered poetry a crisis of the linear Across the spectrum of religious experiences—from the archaic and chthonic experience of sacred power to organized religion—surrealism arises in that elusive threshold between the sacred and the profane, between the illuminations and of everyday life and the more formal expressions of the sacred. The mysterious, contradictory nature of this liminal zone is embodied in surrealist literature and art: matter becomes metaphor; the ordinary object becomes extraordinary; and images evoke emotional disturbance and ambiguity rather than specific ideas. The ambivalent force of the surreal resists conventional rational categories of intellectual discourse. Behind its elusive potency of mood and charged associations lie the fundamental ambivalence and non rational power of the sacred. Celia Rabinovitch, Surrealism and the Sacred
Editing stage: 

Comments

many times before; when your title gets my attention, I consider that a win! It did. I will venture a guess and speak of "plastic love"? Whatever your scene, man. No critique, because I haven't figured out how you do what you do and feel out of my depth in criticizing your form or whatever. I just like it! ~ Geezer.
.

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why plastic?

im glad you enjoyed the write :)

author comment

I like that you did April
reaching out from those dark streams within.

author comment

yes a kind of dark erotic horror... for some an indispensable pleasure

author comment

certainly a lot going on in the poem, and amusing, but at the core

god is whatever is in your heart
i pray to modernism
to be saved
by sex death and resurrection

is my takeaway. It is surrounded by unconnected flights and eroticisms, your personal style, puns and word play, connected like a surrealist collage. It is a unique style, which is hard to obtain for any poet.

I do not prefer the end, it seems, (and I'm sorry to use these words but cannot find better ones), too cute or contrived. It uses devices of concrete poetry, which went out with the Charleston, and to me is a distraction.

..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

ill reread and consider what you say with great attention

I love writing and want to get better I need you always Mark my Friend to rip the truth from your soul at me I gust re read …...Yeah ok I saw something like this and reconfigured Intertextual and its not needed I don't have a great feeling about it one way or the other but it seemed conclusionary,,, get back yo me I think to eliminate the repetition and keep the sentiment Yes falling in love with surrealism!

Best Always Z

author comment
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