Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A kernal miix

a kernel mix…

Do see the pastries in the box oblong,
can you hear the starling shrill its song.
Could the mixture so perfect, be erased,
will we know life, where song’s not praised.

One a texture from a hand well learned,
the other a thing of beauty, hard earned.
Could mixture or song play to conclusion,
will we lose both in manic confusion.

What size the trouser press,
to fit the girth of more or less.
Stretch the fabric and split the thread,
tailors cry material wealth, not bread.

Life goes through a tabled wood in waves,
pushing the years forward to it’s shore.
Does life know or care the path it paves,
or like time, deemed an evermore.

The road I have found by chance,
led these lines to pen our dance.
And surely as the Buzzards kill,
I see the script of a differing will.

Eager hands upon the coin,
again we’re ruled by head.
With our lives I fear their toying,
we struggle cheaply, to be dead…

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
I wrote this as i travelled, as i see this when i travel.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I enjoyed the varied subjects and rhyme in this poem. Can't believe it took till now to get a comment. I have some suggestions if care to consider them
L-1 omit Do
L-9 add should in front of the
L-13 do you mean "fabled" woods ?
3rd stanza breaks rhyme scheme.If this was done to avoid close repeat of "life" you could just replace life with"it"
in second use and then switch lines back to rhyme pattern used in rest of poem.Or was pattern broken as a means to emphasize this one stanza ?

All in all a good entertaining write.............scribbler

Stan, sorry but what I’ve written is in metaphor, I see things as I travel and write down what I feel. This can take many forms, and I don’t always know where it will end.
I meant table because I looked at a wooden table, and thought of the years the tree had spent making this beauty. I believe nature has given us beauty, man is only allowed to use it. And sadly some claim to have designed it, and earn money from it’s beauty. Words are different they are man’s, though we speak in many languages. I love when my writing wanders like this, a kind of base writing. Jumping into the unknown and seeing where you land. When I was writing this, a politician of ours had died a giant of a man physically. And I thought of man, and our greed. Always making ourselves and our objects and buildings, larger and grander, ignoring nature and it’s beauty. That’s why I meant a trouser press, as we get larger we need evermore larger tools to accommodate. And I was inviting you to see the pastries in the oblong box. Again i say sorry, i rambled quite a bit with this explanation. But i felt it was important to let you know, why i could not change these lines. Many thanks Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Perhaps, you would make one small change, *it's* to *its*.... ? rhyme poetry at its best, a la the best of the best..

when the flesh suit
fits
do not awaken
what remains:

sleep well,
my pen,
my soul.

~A

Wow many thanks, I'm blushing. Seriously thank you. your words and opinion is very much valued. Love Roscoe

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.