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Kalon
spring lady beetles
destroy soft, sap-filled aphids-
faultless peach roses
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Mark
Thu, 2021-06-03 03:50
No need for a dash IMO
Toss some lady bugs into the garden, keep the bad guys out lol
Very, very nice Arrow! Love that last line..
Later,
THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.
Ray Whitaker
Thu, 2021-06-03 09:02
Used to buy ladybugs from bug sellers
To keep the bad one at bay. Here in NC, there are so many bad bugs.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Geezer
Thu, 2021-06-03 12:12
Yes...
that last line is best. Not that the rest is bad; just that is the best! ~ Geez.
.
Comments and critique are vital to this site!
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Obadiah Grey
Thu, 2021-06-03 14:57
It works well.
It works well.
I'm with Mark, you don't need a dash.
Obi.
Arrow
Thu, 2021-06-03 15:47
Thanks all for stopping by
to see my roses. I agree with the removal of the dash. When in doubt, take it out! I also stole some alliteration from Geezer. Much appreciated everyone.
author commentMark
Fri, 2021-06-11 12:20
green in the stead of soft?
may make this a winner.
Later,
THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.
Arrow
Wed, 2021-06-16 21:55
Yes, I am indecisive about it . . .
the green makes it more visual, but I was originally going for soft sounds, "s", "ph". Dilemma!
author commentArrow
Wed, 2021-06-16 22:03
Yes, I am indecisive about it . . .
the green makes it more visual, but I was originally going for soft sounds, "s", "ph". Dilemma!
author commentMark
Wed, 2021-06-16 22:26
one thing is sure
they die easily lol
.
THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.
Geezer
Thu, 2021-06-17 08:45
How about...
[filled] instead of green? ~ Geez.
.
Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.
Arrow
Thu, 2021-06-17 15:52
Yes, I like that
stolen and bastardized. Thank you.
author commentGeezer
Thu, 2021-06-17 17:29
Yer welcome...
my pleasure!
Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.
Mark
Sun, 2021-06-27 18:07
Ah ha!
Logical...nice,
THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.
scribbler
Fri, 2021-07-02 08:48
Congrats on winning the contest.
Those cute little lady bugs are monsters to some other insects lol
Mark
Fri, 2021-07-02 14:00
Congratulations Arrow
Kalon, where did ya first come across that beauty of a word?
Great Haiku,
THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.
Arrow
Fri, 2021-07-02 14:17
Kalon
Thank you. Actually, I thought I was quite done with this poem and it was by accident. I was reading a book: Reclaiming Beauty for the Good of the World and came across a discussion of the word and I thought "Perfect!" and popped it in.
author commentMark
Fri, 2021-07-02 15:04
High five!
^5
.
.
.
THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.
Michael Anthony
Sat, 2021-07-03 14:15
Congrats on winning the
Congrats on winning the contest Arrow!
Cheers
Michael Anthony
Geezer
Sun, 2021-07-04 09:15
Congratulations!...
on winning the June contest! ~ Geez.
.
Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.
Arrow
Sun, 2021-07-11 08:08
Thanks for the congratulations
all! I appreciate it.
author comment