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Kalon

spring lady beetles
destroy soft, sap-filled aphids-
faultless peach roses

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Toss some lady bugs into the garden, keep the bad guys out lol
Very, very nice Arrow! Love that last line..
Later,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

To keep the bad one at bay. Here in NC, there are so many bad bugs.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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that last line is best. Not that the rest is bad; just that is the best! ~ Geez.
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Comments and critique are vital to this site!
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It works well.
I'm with Mark, you don't need a dash.

Obi.

to see my roses. I agree with the removal of the dash. When in doubt, take it out! I also stole some alliteration from Geezer. Much appreciated everyone.

author comment

may make this a winner.
Later,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

the green makes it more visual, but I was originally going for soft sounds, "s", "ph". Dilemma!

author comment

the green makes it more visual, but I was originally going for soft sounds, "s", "ph". Dilemma!

author comment

they die easily lol
.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

[filled] instead of green? ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

stolen and bastardized. Thank you.

author comment

my pleasure!

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Logical...nice,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

Those cute little lady bugs are monsters to some other insects lol

Kalon, where did ya first come across that beauty of a word?
Great Haiku,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

Thank you. Actually, I thought I was quite done with this poem and it was by accident. I was reading a book: Reclaiming Beauty for the Good of the World and came across a discussion of the word and I thought "Perfect!" and popped it in.

author comment

^5
.
.
.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

Congrats on winning the contest Arrow!

Cheers

Michael Anthony

on winning the June contest! ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

all! I appreciate it.

author comment
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