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Just a Touch Of Light

I pointed
but when I did
my accusation left me stained
with a color I could not conceal
and left me with a glow
others shrank away from.

I shouted
and those I love all cringed away
expecting mindless rage of violence
from a man they thought they knew

I drank
And fell into a pit of hatred
Few men of my family
Have climbed from
In the hurtful moments
When abhorrence turns outward
From self-loathing
And smothers unsuspecting friends
And family with real horror

I raged
Trapped within damnation of my own making
Screaming anger at life become ordeal
Striking out when all around me
Gave support and care
Just to keep me living,

and now,
now I sorrow,
Wondering in the lowest moments of my life
Why I deserve, in the darkness
Of self-pity that makes of me an island,
The love you give, that brings me back
To a place where I can forgive myself
again.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Listening to Enchant always seems to elicit poetry from my broken soul.
Editing stage: 

Comments

who Enchant is, but you sure beat yourself up a bit in this poem. I hope poetry will continue to rip at your soul so you can get it all out, to find that forgiveness you seek, and perhaps even some redemption too.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

90's Prog band.
Poetry doesn't rip at my soul, brother, it strengthens it, giving my tired old flesh the will to stay ordered.
Lol.
I hope you enjoyed my effort.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

that I will have to check out this "Enchant". So nice to see you writing again, although I wish the topic were a little bit brighter. Still, it is good to see that you have help in weathering the storm and can do a bit of purging with poetry. I was a "lost" man myself, and found that a wonderful woman who understood, could help keep me from self-destruction. I can't see anything I would change about this, but I will read a time or two more and you're not off the hook yet. LoL. ~ Gee.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

Just realized I never answered you.
You still up for keeping that hook in me?
LOL
Glad you enjoyed it, brother.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Good to see you back. It's amazing how a bit of love at just the right time can make all the difference......stanj

Yeah.
It's amazing how she keeps giving that love to me.
Glad you enjoyed this, man.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

The battle within that become outward condemnation
we deal with our inner battle the best we can our only refuge is friends and family
and not self pity.

Fast Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

You got that right brother.
Good to read your words again.
And glad you enjoyed this one.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment
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