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Just another heartbreak

You and me against the world,
Hearts bursting at the seams.
Now without you I wake to,
Broken promises and half forgotten dreams.
I feel hurt and lied to,
And yet you feel used by me?
With my love I tried to fill your emptiness.
And now you reject me so easily?

Nights past unslept,
and so many tears I have cried.
Just to make you forget the desolation,
You buried deep inside.
I gave you what you wanted,
And was willing to do so much more.
Give you strength and happiness,
And a life worth living for.
I would of moved heaven and earth,
Just to see your smile.
Held you and caressed you,
Made your feel more worthwhile.

But all that is over now,
You have decided,
And the villain of the piece,
has now been cast.
All my good deeds are forgotten now,
I now belong in your past?
What crime have I committed,
To be suddenly exiled from your life?
3 days of no contact,
Leaves you brandishing the metaphysical knife?

I accept your decision,
Even though I feel hurt and betrayed.
You Abandoned me so easily,
After all the forever plans we have made.
I don't understand it,
How I lost all your love and respect for me,
I guess I'm supplus to requirements,
And no longer the mother you need.

I'm sorry that I failed you,
And we must now live our lives apart.
I hope someone fills the void for you.
And doesn't break YOUR lonley heart.
Time and patience will help me
forget you, and move on now you are gone.
I wish you every happiness,
In your life that you have now
removed me from.

Goodbye.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Got my heart broken again, one day I will get the hang of it.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

as with your other poems, you need to make it more compact
and concise. Try taking out all the connecting words that
do not change the meaning of the lines, to shorten and add some, to keep the rhythm.
.
Examples: Broken promises, half forgotten dreams
: I feel [so] hurt and lied to
: With love, I tried to fill your emptiness
: Now you reject me too easily

I'm sure that you get the idea. Good rhythm can make or break a poem.
I really like the emotion here, this is good! ~ Geez.
.

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and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

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