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A Jovian Revolution

Submitted by Miss Macabre on Tue, 2021-07-13 23:10

Surrounded by a Cimmerian cloak
I revolve around my stormy parent
Who in turn revolves around their temperate caregiver
All is synchronous

Resisting the solar guidance
Of my boiling grandfather
And the stormy one
Of my turbulent father
My Galilean self retains an icy form
And instead, I follow my own conscience

Though I am the smallest of my siblings
I am by far the brightest
And despite my cold exterior
My peculiar self will only garner admiration
From the voyeurs that call themselves terrestrial

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Triskelion

Wed, 2021-07-14 08:01

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even the greatest poetry site this side of Uranus! Welcome again!

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

Geezer

Wed, 2021-07-14 08:15

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a real kick out of this! It is interesting to see how you see yourself in the "family dynamic". You seem to have a sense of humor and a way with words. I do believe that Cimmerian is properly spelled with a capital C as it is a proper name and not a color.
In addition, [conscience] is the spelling of the word you are using, not [conscious]. Welcome to Neopoet and I hope that you will keep your sense of humor and continue to write interesting and fun stuff to read. ~ Geezer.
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Miss Macabre

Wed, 2021-07-14 08:46

Miss Macabre's picture

My way with words only comes out when it comes to writing them down. Also, for as much as I use both the word 'Cimmerian' and 'conscience', I'm surprised I didn't catch that myself. I thank you.

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2021-07-14 20:31

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However, I will caution you against becoming to enamored of certain words. We used to have a person here; that used the color Cerulean blue, to excess, it got so that when I would scan their poems for those words and I saw them, I would immediately be turned off and not able to read further. A shame really, because they were a pretty damned good poet. I tried to be kind and let them know, but to no avail. I like your work and hope that I have not been too hard on you. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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