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A Jovian Revolution
Surrounded by a Cimmerian cloak
I revolve around my stormy parent
Who in turn revolves around their temperate caregiver
All is synchronous
Resisting the solar guidance
Of my boiling grandfather
And the stormy one
Of my turbulent father
My Galilean self retains an icy form
And instead, I follow my own conscience
Though I am the smallest of my siblings
I am by far the brightest
And despite my cold exterior
My peculiar self will only garner admiration
From the voyeurs that call themselves terrestrial
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Triskelion
Wed, 2021-07-14 08:01
Perhaps
even the greatest poetry site this side of Uranus! Welcome again!
Thomas
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...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Geezer
Wed, 2021-07-14 08:15
I get...
a real kick out of this! It is interesting to see how you see yourself in the "family dynamic". You seem to have a sense of humor and a way with words. I do believe that Cimmerian is properly spelled with a capital C as it is a proper name and not a color.
In addition, [conscience] is the spelling of the word you are using, not [conscious]. Welcome to Neopoet and I hope that you will keep your sense of humor and continue to write interesting and fun stuff to read. ~ Geezer.
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It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?
Miss Macabre
Wed, 2021-07-14 08:46
My way with words only comes
My way with words only comes out when it comes to writing them down. Also, for as much as I use both the word 'Cimmerian' and 'conscience', I'm surprised I didn't catch that myself. I thank you.
author commentGeezer
Wed, 2021-07-14 20:31
You are welcome...
However, I will caution you against becoming to enamored of certain words. We used to have a person here; that used the color Cerulean blue, to excess, it got so that when I would scan their poems for those words and I saw them, I would immediately be turned off and not able to read further. A shame really, because they were a pretty damned good poet. I tried to be kind and let them know, but to no avail. I like your work and hope that I have not been too hard on you. ~ Geezer.
.
It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?