Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Journal Entry - July, 2018

I keep calling my mother's voicemail,
though she’s been gone for months,
to hear her voice again

I consider leaving a message, but don’t
I will though, but not just now
Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow

Even with loss in bloom,
I’m sure I’ll be stronger soon
Maybe I’ll think of something to say
when the memories aren’t crashing in all around me

It’s just a simple message to leave
You’ll be there one more time for me
so we can talk about how we’ve been,
here, among the ashes

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Revisiting an older piece not posted here. Thanks to Mark for his input. Best
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I'm not so hot at putting critiques into words but I know what I like and this poem is perfect in it's simplicity. The words capture the longing, the loss and the need to accept what befalls us all. I love the closing line it is the perfect ending

Thank you atorn! Appreciate you sharing your thoughts about this piece.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

I would change here. Nice stuff! My own Mother is in very poor health at ninety-four and we don't expect her to make her ninety-fifth birthday in the fall. I wish that I had had the presence of mind to record the birthday call that she made with the help of my sister yesterday! We joked and it was the first time in a long time that I heard her laugh. I will see her this weekend and hope that maybe I can get something for a reminder, like you have. ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Thanks Geez. I hope you are able to get something as a memento from your mother - 95, wow! Funny what becomes significant after the passing of a loved one.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

this is so full of loving, it brought tears to my eyes! that takes a lot, because I am not a weepy person. I lost my Dad when I was eighteen. my mother and I were at odds, to put it lightly. but just before she passed, she asked me for forgiveness... I gave it, and sent her off with an unburdened heart.

*hugs, Cat
-

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Thanks for sharing your touching story CW. I'm not crying, you're crying...

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.