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Jogging (My memory)

I walked in the quiet,
where the mist swirled,
stretching the mind.
The mist retreated.

There in my view,
a placid pond.
My mind Jumped,
becoming aware.

I thought of you,
yet could not see.
In my glowing hand,
a pebble round and true.

I tossed it into the water.
There from the centre,
wave on wave grew.
My thoughts followed

Then I remembered you.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
A way of concentrating..
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hi there Ian,

I thought this poem was sweet, very sweet. It's hard for me to see the significance of the pond and the pebble, and you throwing the pebble into the pond, watching the waves and remembering this person.

I felt the conclusion was weak, because in the third stanza, you thought of the person. But if you could go on to explain what inspired this poem, I might understand it better.

But I like it as it is. It's very soothing.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

I have the bones of a story I am writing, and this is, where the person uses a pond to relax his thoughts, he lets them flow as in meditation, where in this poem he followed the waves from the centre then remembered the Girl.
It works as you found by saying, It's very soothing.
Thanks for your comment and read great to see you here with me,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

in the water always evokes memories in me that's why I really enjoyed your little "memory jogging."
Many thanks for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

I notice that the waves on the water invokes a memory in your ways,
I hope they are soothing thoughts I shall have to expand the thoughts to make something like a meditation piece, it will take less work than the story I was going to write using this thought process.
Thank you young Lady,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I thoroughly enjoyed the peace, serenity and meditative feel of this one!.

Nice write

Love Mand xxxxxx

The thought of watching the waves as they come across a pond to me is a way of expanding the thoughts but that's another story.
Take care, Yours, as always,
Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

here I remembered him
now I'm deep within myself
I don't know what to say
seems like we all have THAT person
and I was to be happy because of the New Year
but..

it's great work it really is !

Emina
Maybe it's better to stay completely within
as fire hides in metal
as water hides in rock.
Rumi

Always remember that the pond can be very large and the waves can carry you past those memories to new places.
Then there is, when the waves reach out for the shore, take the top of them and flow outward for as long as you like.
Draw on the truths that are held in those that are good they will fly with you,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Your last few poems have found the beauty of words like polished stones found in a stream. To be perfectly honest I have always thought you a mediocre poet, but you seem to have found your voice. Is it because the children have left and forced you to your own devices?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Thank you for your comment.
You know that to sing out you have to be aware of what you can do and trust yourself to make loud noises in tune, it is hard young Jess.
You know that my poetry is held back, probably due to not wanting to scream out truths or whisper love of life to its ultimate energy.
The children, well they can be asked, but when the teacher said that I had learned enough from them to be able to write about things for myself, I am still cautious.
Strange that you know of their ways, I hope that one day as the shadows are becoming long, there at the edge you will see the beauty and simplicity of those Spirit children. one day they will touch you, and as they do so we will meet.
Jess thanks for being such a great part of Neopoet, there is one thing you can do.
Gather those that are the best, tell them how to teach and what to do without being bossy, how to accept and nurture a new poet to their standards.
I cannot do anything like this but I have great faith in your ability to gather them by PM then to launch them on Neo as a group that will teach all things.
Yours as always with Unconditional love to all,
Yours Ian and the children,
also a special hello from Tiz who walks with you..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Don't you think I have been trying for the the last 7 years? That is a very long time on the internet.
I have found found Michellek, a water witch found us, Wesley is brilliant but irregular. Richard themoonman is brilliant, there are several well founded poets who visit irregularly, but we are a site that has everything from the depths of mona magic to the heights of esker, we can't keep a regular scholarly or or brilliant input.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Your speaking the pieces of our poets has been a boon to Neopoet.
It was a joy to hear you there talking and giving the words life it makes for more thought when we write.
There is no worry about trying too hard, the world still turns and your contribution to here has a wonderful value beyond words,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

now on this page
I shouldn't be found

You Ian were always profound
but some see only air
not the pragmatic ground

loved

Those that watch the waves from the troughs will always be left behind.
Flow Young Bard with the tips of the waves and see where you are going.
But do it with your thoughts, not your physical abilities and memories, they are too heavy and you will drown in your own sadness.
When you choose to stop for a while, just remember it is your mind that controls all you do,
Yours as always, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Ian, this is beautiful. Perfect cadence. Pleasure to read....

joe

I am so glad that you could see what was going on, there are many ways to relax and remember things, I hope that you are doing well at the moment, Have the best New Year that you can,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I need to survive this broken hip. Then I plan to try to move back to NY where my family is. I am alone and need to deal with the hip and Parkinson's on my own, Time to leave this new year.

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