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Jalopy tunes

Submitted by brittle light on Sat, 2012-09-08 00:47

static distance
collapses into
a front seat smile
along the road
somewhere
past even caring
a reconnection
lost to time
recalled in a song
by someone unknown
yet, somehow he knows
my story
the whole sorry story.
me
and lost love
sung in 12-bars of ironic blues

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

brittle light

Sun, 2012-09-09 21:17

brittle light's picture

I think your take on line #8 was helpful, so I have changed it as suggested, with a few other small changes as well.

I really appreciate your time and thoughts.
thanks

Al

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