Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Jack O' Box

He lives within his Toytown house
And stays contented there;
Happy, silent as a mouse
Dozed in his tortile chair.
Ready and alert is he,
Uncertain what's in store,
Thinking next who it may be
Comes knocking at his door.

Will someone call to visit soon?
Will someone come to play?
Will someone tease and hum a tune
Upon this very day?
All alone he'll sit and mope
The smile washed from his face;
Sadly tearful in the hope
Some antic should take place.

But wait! what's this? a fuss he hears
Along the nursery lane;
He cocks his head and pricks his ears
And harkens it again.
Did he sense a stir, so slight?
Yes! he's sure he did...
He springs and gives them such a fright
When someone lifts his lid.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Now that the 'Titles' workshop is concluded there are still a few 'spare' titles kicking around looking for a home. Of my two contributed titles dear Rula made a wonderful job of the villanelle which she selected to thrill us with. My other one, "Jack O' Box", is still orphaned with no home. This title has been in my notebook for quite a while now so I guess that I should attempt to find it a place of its own. I completed the first two stanzas and then found myself feeling ever so sorry for this mischievous little man. Therefore I decided to create the ultimate stanza as a volta to attempt to provide him with a happy ending.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Your poem brings to life jack in the box which actually is one of my all time favourite toys as a child, but you do it in such a way it sounds magical.
I don't see them round anymore, such a shame because something so joyful and emotional for a child.
Today you have brought my child hood memories to my mind!

Thank you...Teddy

children amuse themselves with electronic toys today. Jack has sprung into the history books as an antique curio now. I guess there was a time when every nursery had their own colourful box where Jack lived.
I hope he didn't scare you too much when you lifted his lid to peep mischievously inside.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

Your last stanza is gorgeous and yes I did feel the suprise. You also made me think how lonely poor jack is!

A beautiful subject, and yes today's children unfortunate get
plastic I-pads and so on. No imagination unfortunately. I love the toys of old. I also had the weebles! And the magnificent tree house that I adored

Thank you...Teddy

I will let you into a secret. Here is my very favourite item from my early childhood. Shhhh... don't tell anyone.

https://mypoeticside.com/show-poem-115002

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

How lovely, my son has one and it's really special. Thank you for sharing

Thank you...Teddy

Time to admit a little secret myself, when I had the two titles to chose, I tried to familiarize myself with Jack. I never had the toy, so I decided to take the challenge with the second title.
Needn't say, you've created a lovely piece of Jack.
I admire the way you've created for little Jack!
Thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Hi, Alan,
You have made me feel so many different emotions toward this little guy! It's as if I'm in there with him, quietly hoping and waiting for the sound of someone to come join me. I had a Jack in the Box, also. We actually only had one, and it was a favorite between all of us. Both a scare and an uncontrolled laugh when he popped up!
Thanks for the happy memory!
L

I am pleased Jack made you smile. Everyone one loves him really.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

not to have Jack O' Box when you were young Rula. He is very mischievous and could have led you astray (as he did me).
Thanks for your kind comments and reading about Jack, he has been sleeping as a title for far too long now.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

as usual I find nothing amiss with this poem now would that be what we call Jack In A Box yes he always gave my daughter a fright indeed

Join us for the new workshop on Critique basic sign up now

join us for chat every [email protected];30 pm est

He operates under various names like 'Jack in the box'. Just a little fun now that the workshop has ended.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

the memories. I had a Jack-In-The-Box and all three of my boys did too. What a great toy it was. I was always amazed at the children I know of having one, not tiring of it for a long time. My youngest boy, sat playing with his for a long time after the initial fright wore off. He would push him back in the box and then slowly turn the handle until Jack popped out and he giggled and laughed so hard that he fell over. Thanks for the link to your favorite toy of youth. I have the feeling that it will lead to a poem that I will share when I get it right. ~ Geezer.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

I look forward to reading your work when you get there. I'm pleased that you laughed at my poem and it reminded you of your own things. I will dedicate the last two lines to you and your family.
If kids today don't have a jack in the box or a rocking horse I think that they have missed something special.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.