Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

I've Kept The Snow

So bare and clean
Like untouched canvas
Snow has been
When it first fell

And I've been guard
On my small patch
Although t'was hard
Throughout my spell

For I'd presumed
That others ,too
Had not resumed
Their daily trade

Should just maintain
The fallen snow
Should all remain
The way t'was made

Yet say the clock
Has made it's rounds
And say a rock
S'now dust at sea

And all around
Have greyed their snow
And white's just found
By only me...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

a few too many gratuitous poetics like "S'now"

Cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Members Coordinator
Contact me if you have any problems.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.