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It's Only A Dream...

The magic hours of darkness, bring back memories
Emotional ghosts are resurrected, touching me with hands of recognition
Reality is blurred, by the haze of what was
I stumble, tripping over the paths of false promises

Cringing from blows to my manhood, I fall into traps of passion
Over the edge, into the pools of the damned
Nothing matters now, only the soothing balm of satisfaction
I cannot remember who I am, only what I was

Pushing aside honor, I rush to my doom
Shadows on the wall, try valiantly to stay my progress
But the writing is Greek to me, and I feel no shame
Only need...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Whew, these dreams are getting more scary each night! I wonder what they mean?
Editing stage: 

Comments

a tough time lately, with not being able to provide like I would for my family. Because I cannot work the way I used to, I have been feeling down. I guess this has manifested it'self in my dreams. I have had dreams about the way I used to be in my younger years before I got sick, and these dreams have taken some twisted turns. I have been able to analyze them, and now am sleeping much better without these dreams. Yes, we do tend to cringe when there is an assault on our manhood. Men take it very seriously, when someone says that we are not the man we could be, should be, or were. I believe like you, that we have two different lives, one concious, and the other sub-concious. The sub-concious, is always thinking and figuring out what to do in and with certain situations. Dreams are the way that it communicates with the concious mind, and tries to resolve problems. I'm sure that when a person sits down and tries to figure out what they mean, they usually have a pretty good idea of what the sub-concious is trying to say. Kinda like a good friend who listens and gives advice. Thanks for the read, and comments, Love ya, ~ Gee

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author comment

Words that are sometimes said in jest, or mabye an off-hand remark, can be hurtful. I have gotten things a little more in-hand.
I realise that, no matter what, I cannot go back to being the man of my youth, and I can still be a man, by dealing with it, in an adult fashion. Thank you for your concern. As always, love ya ~ Gee

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author comment

i liked the dream sequence you played out here where the sub-conscious thoughts become prominent..atleast that is the way i perceived this write...

do you think in Line "reality is blurred" would be more appropriate than "reality is blinded"...because it is followed by the "haze"...give it a thought...

raj (sublime_ocean)

it was the sub-concious, trying to tell me something. I do like the change to "reality is blurred", it does fit better with the vision that everything was seen through a haze. nice thinking! Thanks for the input, ~ Gee

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author comment

for the tips on getting better sleep. I have been welcoming these dreams, because I knew that once I had figured out what they were telling me, then I would be better able to adjust my way of thinking. I have followed your suggestion about music many times in the past, and have had varied success. The things that have bothered me, are at rest now. Not gone, but I am dealing with them much better. Thanks for your concern, and thoughts. ~ Gee

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author comment

experiences with this has or will help anyone, I am most glad. I am not the wisest man in the world by far, but I have found that pain; if you welcome it and examine it, comes to be a friend. [Both physical and mental.] There may be a scientific explanation to this, but my best guess? Is that if you make friends with your pain, it ceases to have a hold on you. ~ Gee

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author comment

I think there is much poetic potential in this write ...
I did feel there were many connecting words that
could be eliminated and give the poem more strength,
"those", if you made bring "brings", "are" in line two,
as well as "me" ... and so on. Just one man's opinion.

enjoyed the read

Richard

like your suggestion of adding [are] to the line of "emotional ghosts" and will implement that, but I don't think that adding an ess to [bring] does anything for it, I also feel that people will identify more strongly with the line about the writing on the wall being "Greek to me" if it is left as it is. I did intentionally mix two metaphors in this case. [ "The shadows on the wall", and "It's Greek to me."]. Meaning that, I saw that something would happen if I stayed the path I was traveling, but not understanding what the writing was saying. Thanks for your input, and as always, I am glad that you enjoyed the write. ~ Guy

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author comment

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, my friend glade to see another poem from you.
Call me lazy/busy/and other times veeeeery depresed so I can't type more than one comment ............""sorry"" for not being around :)))).
______________________
The poem:
___
Very powerful words.
I love it all, and the most lines touched me in deep are:
The magic hours of darkness, bring back those memories
Emotional ghosts are resurrected, touching me with hands of recognition
Reality is blurred, by the haze of what was
I stumble, tripping over the paths of false promises

Cringing from blows to my manhood, I fall into traps of passion

lovxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mona Rose

to hear that you are not feeling too good. Those lines that you mention, are also my favorites. I am glad that you are so enthusiastic about seeing some more work from me. I always like hearing from you, and miss seeing your work. I can hardly wait to have the chats back, so that we can interact on a more personal basis. You always have good ideas, and I miss talking with you. Write of the things that you see around you, let me know how you are feeling, and maybe you can get out of this slump.
You have much heart, and it shows in your writing. Love ya, ~ Gee

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author comment

But....are you a dream weaver, my dear Geezer?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hdx9JjzDfo

I had forgotten how much I used to identify with that song. I guess every poet is a dream weaver, and if I am any kind of a poet, I should be able to weave some dreams, eh? I am getting pretty good at picking them apart, so I should be able to put some together. Thanks Anna, Love ya, ~ Gee

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author comment

I know that you have a great understanding of pain, and not much able to do all you used to. You always find the right words. I have been able to put these dreams to rest for the time being. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am not what I was. I know that it not a unique experience, one just particular with me, and I caused most of my own problems with the life-style that I have led. I guess I am just putting the blame where it belongs, and regretting that I didn't take better care of the host. LOL My dreams, both day-dreams, and sleeping dreams, have fueled my work as a poet many times in the past, and I will continue to use them as needed. WE have come a long way, together. I have gotten many pointers from you and Richard, since I first came to Neo. I am not above watching and examining what works for everyone here, and using it to write as best I can. You have been a big influence. Many thanks for always being there, Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

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author comment

thrilled to hear that you are feeling"heaps" better! The memories of the early days of Neo, will always be with me. Even the days of conflict, had meaning. [Not that I wish for more of the same.] Just watching the different thoughts come to the fore, and people standing up for what they believe in. I have made so many new friends here. People that have made my writing so much better. I see that there are many of the [old] folks coming back, and that pleases me to no end. I hope that more of our friends will show up, I miss Julie and Cloudthing and the others. There was nothing I could do, but read your work, from the very beginning. It was so amazing to see the anger dissapate with each poem. Now I see the wisdom you have gained, and the happiness you have found. Your work has always been so inspiring to me. Thanks for always being there for me, Love and higgest bugs ~ Sir Gee

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author comment

This is a classic and I can relate to this alot.

Every now and then the past tends to haunt us. It's only through facing these ghosts that we can overcome them. Just like you said, "Pushing aside honor, I rush to my doom". Brilliant!

____________________________________________________________________
Regards,
Dennis

"Death smiles on us all. All a man can do is smile back." ~ Maximus Decimus Meridius

I don't know about brilliant, but I am kinda proud of this one. I am glad that i was able to get people to relate to this. Dreams and ghosts seem to go together, and I pay attention to my dreams, because I am sure that they are trying to tell me something. Just like Ebeneezer Scrooge's ghosts, they come to haunt you. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Geezer

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author comment

A most eloquently fashioned piece. You are a true wordsmith.

The magic hours of darkness, bring back memories
Emotional ghosts are resurrected, touching me with hands of recognition
Reality is blurred, by the haze of what was
I stumble, tripping over the paths of false promises

You have described some of my nightmares and the way they have left me trembling and feeling. The rest of the poem is horribly sublime! I have no suggestions for this masterpiece.

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I know. I have no problems with writing about my life, and the things that occur in it. Of course, there are things that are difficult to put into words, and the proper perspective. But I mean, that I open my heart and soul with my work, and I am very pleased that people are interested enough to read, and comment. Neopoet is not just a place to get criticisms on the poetry, but also a place to garner thoughts about what I write. I always appreciate the frank thoughts and ideas I recieve from the people who reply. Thank you for being one of those people. Love ya, ~ Gee ~ P.S. Masterpiece? Wow! I do like the description of being horribly sublime!

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author comment

most amazing closing line and well written poem
I can relate I cant remember the dreams or try not
too I like your comment trail though You are most
eduated and articulate and describe richly these
feelings I have a hard time trying to even write
about them lest describe them as you do
You are a good writer Geezer

So good to see you back, and writing! I must remember that I had help with this poem, as I do with most of my work. Otherwise I might get a swelled head! I thank each and every person that has helped with suggestions and comments. As I have said in the above comments, I write what I know. Coming from you, the original wordsmith, I find your comments to be most satisfying! You have been an inspiration to me many times over the past couple of years. Your tales of romance and love, must be taken from your own experiences. No one could write like that, without giving something of themselves! When you write of the peeling paint on the walls, and the glow of the yellow light that illuminates her skin, I am drawn into the scene so securely, that I almost feel as though I am a voyeur! If I have become a good writer, it is due to having the Neo. family to help me along. Thank you, for your high praise, ~ Gee

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author comment

I get the thought-pattern.
I'd pick a favorite line, but they're all great
And need each other.

-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____

I regret to say, that I have let people think what they will of this piece. The intent, for now, will remain my secret. ~ Geez.
.

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author comment
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