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Itching For a Fight
I'm sick as I've been tonight,
and our voices rise,
the volume climbs
an octave.
Walking through Wynwood in Miami
seemed to bring some levity
some clarity
some red and blistered feet.
But coming home
we set an expectation
for the house sick traveler and his wife.
In a few minutes time we were screaming
like I'd never even left,
until no longer we could scream, rationalize, or lecture.
Maybe one of us has to stop being "right."
Maybe both of us have to stop being "right."
Maybe all of us have to stop being "right."
I realize,
for the first time, sadly,
that I don't have
the answer, the solution,
even the idea
inside of me,
and it's THAT,
that helplessness to fix anything
that fuels all the questions
and feeds the "thing."
Because that's my crutch,
my clutch,
and my weakness.
And it's why I stuck around so long
the last time around.
I want to fix,
I'm no mechanic,
but I'm a fixer,
and when I cannot fix
I want to know why.
So I end up with silly questions
that only I know go back to the same place;
"what could I have done to make things not so?"
Smart money is on "nothing,"
but when have I ever been wise with that?
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2017-03-25 13:04
Most of this...
poem is clear, but I think that the presentation of some lines could use a little cleaning up. You don't make it clear if you went out alone,[although that was the feeling that I got] and I don't get the reference to the house sick traveler and his wife. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Keith Logan
Sun, 2017-03-26 11:10
An old adage
When your wife is right, admit it. When you are right, shut up.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
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