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It tastes like 'Shit'

Lost in a mire of vomit
cascading hair hangs in drabs
yesterday’s pajamas
have forgotten what day it is

The rolling sea
lurches with wave
after relentless wave
and the light fractures
a rainbow of tears

Sullen nights stretch
into half lit days,
shadowy afternoons
are haunted by dreams
of sunlit beaches
and Tuscan ghosts

Dragging a towel
a change of pajamas
into the breach,
I am cleansed

But I still feel
like death has
me in his maw,

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


Look to the inside not what it produces.
Feel the love that cascades onto your form
From all those that love you
Speak not of fading, as the Spirit only grows
It grows with each thought and holds the memories true
Teach your Spirit to talk to you of the good things.
Let it show you the colours of memories gone
Bathe in the rainbows arc let the colours sing
There you are and emerging from a hell
We saw you go there and waited as we do
Now like waiting for a chrysalis to erupt
There you are but holding the wrong memories.

Whoops there I go can't wait till you are back on line and well again, though this poem is very good I just want to burn it and dance in the beauty of the new flames,
Yours as always Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I couldn't agree more with Ian's comment...

Catch up with the good things in life....hope you are getting better...take best care..

much love n hugs...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Pure despair in verse. As usual you convey what you mean to without rambling around like I tend to............stan

Can't agree more with the other's advice and comments for you, hun. Let me add, your friends are here for you. I'm sending my love , my prayer and my well wishes to you. Hope you'll be okay soon.

big love and hugs,

Hard for me to leave critique when you feel the way you do. But you post and I shall.

Great poem. Emotion is strong and holds up throughout. Not too keen on "fractured" light. It is overdone.

As for the ending, a suggestion if I may

has laid me in his bed
And strokes my hair
Like a parent soothing a long fever

Hope you feel better soon.



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