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Invisible
There's a certain comfort I find
in waking up depressed
every morning.
There's a warmth I find in melancholy.
And the trees and the woods
and the forest next door
were supposed to scare me,
(at least, according to old Hollywood legend)
instead, I buried an old friend there
and went about my day.
There are times,
little flickering lights
that I'm sure I've felt the peace of God again,
as it wrestles between the "me" and "not me,"
both vying to prove
which one is "me" indeed.
Indeed.
And I'd like to be less pragmatic,
and not have the cynical side
take over so much.
We watched videos together last night
of an old funeral service,
and I wondered if I
was even the same person
speaking at the pulpit.
Somewhere along the line
I lost myself,
but was that then, now;
did I become somebody else?
Even worse still,
did I become "me?"
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Vivovon
Wed, 2016-09-21 13:37
alarming
The question "did I become "me?" is very alarming and of deep concern. Please take care that "I do not become "me." I like the poem and the theme.
xxxxx
Esker
Wed, 2016-09-21 15:09
u cannot become "Me" for I am "Me"
great poem....Im in the same boat...deep down my singing and happy
boosting moral and picking up trash in my city..holding doors and helping
others get ahead....I suffer from depression...
doubt..fear..loathing of the self...it is a selfish issue as the normies say
because I lose track of their feelings...their importance because it is
my prison I am locked into....the foggy void.....
and when Not depressed Im like super high..mania...
I take medications....I know myself..others work with me
even when things are going perfect
I feel that nagging feeling that Im not good
enough
and when others critisize me
I feel horrible and want to
dig back at them....
when I do
I feel less
for then Im Me
so I have too create
an adapted Me
strength to protect
myself via ego
and mouth
but..the other strengths
like kindness and
allowing other people
too be...faulted..weak
too strong...
that part I have too
work on....
when I do...I have
great productive
days.....people shine
happy....
its a work in progress
I feel U are very bright
been through much
like myself
as absorbed as I am
I also lend a helping
hand too many
finding myself is the
reward now at this age
I have avoided it all
these years
by just getting involved
to the easily handled
chaos of others...
in doing so they greatly
help me too though..
the small little things
matter most too me
Great work..much emotion
put forth in this
Thank U Connect!
Sommer Lyn
Sat, 2016-09-24 18:26
Relatable philosophical
Relatable philosophical sentiments framed well, artfully articulated