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AN INTIMATE RECITAL

Once you have slept with the guitar,
Concentrating so to give her pleasure,
You apply your purity of arpeggio
Into her heart, that of gypsy and fugue;
She is a witch who will never be satisfied!

Her voice is from the throat of trees,
Vibrating wings of hummingbird
In tones that linger like a touch
From the memory of skin; her mouth
Round with rosette like a solar eclipse
Her body with the waist of an hourglass...

How many years I have sacrificed
And acted the chivalrous troubadour!
You have denied my life of idle hours
To master your indigenous language
Of dance and nostalgia. Awkward,
Never at ease, tight walking on the frets,
One small mistake and you laugh, cruelly,
As my fingers grope about your symmetry.

Untamable Jezebel, what little I ask in return!
We are here in the privacy of this primal forest
I beg you, this once, take fully my offered embrace
And be ravished in the saudade of forgetfulness;
Let me give back to the green foliage
What my soul has learned by its silence.

"Harmonics of a spring rain shimmered
And the ground emitted its perfume
Of sweetness and decay. What sounds!
What precision of carnalities connecting
Moisture to the ever-changing clouds;
One music; you the voice, I the words."

Last few words: 
Rosette- the boarder around the sound hole of the guitar, an ornate and individual design which is the luthier’s logo. ///. Brazilian music often refers to Saudade , pronounced sai-ou-daaage, the recollection of feelings, experiences, places, or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again ////Harmonics- a harp like sound produced on guitar by the finger just touching the string as it is plucked. I have edited based on a poetry workshop I presented this too, with some good feedback. This is the most recent attempt,
Editing stage: 

Comments

My one crit, gut response on initial reading, is that the metaphor is so extended, perhaps so effective, as to objectify the 'object of desire'... or perhaps that was your intent?

And wow, thanks for saudade, what a wonderful word!

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

What a great word is Objectify..I thought I knew what it meant, looked it up and found very confusing definitions. There are some words which posses a unique abstraction. The best I could find that made sense was "When you treat a person or animal as on object for your enjoyment."
So I think that was the intent.
Guitars due to shape, connection to the harp, has always been treated very feminine. The curves and orifice make it obviously so. I have to tell you, watching people doing "guitar pro" and imitating those hard rock riffs, with the guitar over their groins, looks like they are masturbating!
I don't think I have that kind of relationship, but it is so hard to play the guitar properly, in the classical sense, that the "lady" will only allow you to be free with her body after years of practice! Then the music flows, like love.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

author comment

ok

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I've heard and seen people playing classical guitar and what you are saying is true. They hold their lady in a manner that says "I love you". They stroke the strings and caress her body as a lover would. Excellent theme and done very well. ~ Geezer.
.

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Beautiful.....
I read this to a non poetry guitar player friend and they loved it. It could be what they needed to convert to the land of poetry!

I love the way subtle changes in a poem can quite alter its feel.

It has become more immediate and accessible.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

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