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Intelligent fools freeverse CONVERTED to IAMBIC Snowman's W'shop...

There is no problem
in this thought process
only fools
who think
they have confidence
jump into a burning fire

Those intelligent ones
who have doubts
only wonder
and
try to resolve
how to save
the next lot of fools

They only have doubts
next time they hope
the guys will wear
a raincoat,

before into flames they dare
naked and bare
with a body
with long hair.

REVIEWED POST SNOWMAN'S IMMINENT WORKSHOP...

There is/ no problem/ in this /thought process/now surfaced
only fools/who think/they have/more confidence/than others
jump into/ a burning / incendiary fire/ showing off/their tomfoolery
As nonchalantly/they behave /really silly/only abnormally/absent minded

Those really/intelligent ones/who have /more doubts/quietly observe
only wonder/ and try /to resolve/ to save /the next
fools batch/who may/so follow/their predecessors/really nonchalantly
Intelligent only /have doubts/next time /they hope/the guys

will wear/a raincoat/to save/themselves from/imminent disaster
before into /flames they /dare naked/ and bare/their body
long hair/susceptible to/the ensuing/ravishing flames/they fare
such assistance/how ever/distantly remote/will prove/absolutely beneficial

(THIS WOULD BE LIKE
IAMBC PENTAMETER
POST EDUCATION OF SNOWMAN ‘S WORKSHOP)
PERHAPS

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

.....................

author comment

go to
http://vocaroo.com/
record what you have written and listen to the natural stresses of the language.
I dare you to post the recording.
Iambic is the easiest, it resembles the human heartbeat.
You are just being an obstructive, wilfully ignorant cunt.
No-one is forcing you to learn, we already know you can't, or won't.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

MR Harrison

author comment

,.ed

author comment

I give up on you

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

get well soon
you to all here are a boon

cheeeeerzzzzzzzzzzzzz

author comment

You are right and I am gladdened to see you really trying in Wesley's workshop.
I made a recording of your latest effort.
So sorry my dear, I was too quick to judge, I really thought you were only there to undermine any effort to teach poetic techniques.
I was so wrong, please forgive me.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

masters who are true
all by now knew
scold with a heated glove
all students they love

snow man
asked me to compose one
with single syllables
hence the renewed effort
jess

I know you well
in the forest you awaken
sad at times a bit too late
this you must confess

take medication
or do meditation
both will reward you,
in turn us too
we all need the horses riders strip
what do you call it ....slips my mind ...
on all know
you too
do...
Some day when I am gone your eyes will be full of tears till long why in heavens so often you were wrong thanks to loved he was strong

author comment
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