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Insomniac (2) by: eddy styx

Insomniac (2) by: eddy styx

darkness eats at my heart
as it surrounds my body
in its cold clutches.
sleep is elusive,
a commodity not yet paid for.
no sense lying here
tossing and turning to no avail,
withe eyes that won't stay closed
the answer is not on the ceiling...
I arise, that out-of-body feeling
is upon me; like fly-paper
maybe coffee will loosen it's grip?
with cob-webby eyes
and cardboard tongue
sitting in wait for the clearing to come.
my computer knows me intimately
springing forth with it's vital force
how I adore it's electronic glow,
lighting up at my soft touch.
we have an interlacing,
my computer and me...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

It’s hard to critique your stuff because it’s pretty tight and organized. I like your style here it’s matter of fact but spot on. I take laps around my house in the small hours. I’m not an insomniac by any means but I sleep in two shifts. That little window when I’m up is both dark as pitch and inspiring divinity and never really know what I’m gonna get but I almost always eat too many snacks regardless of my emotional state. I’m an ice cream guy.

Tim

in my dark hours, I usually am accompanied by mayhem and murder, I usually get a bit of exercise, lol! I'd like to thank you for reading and responding to my post. I get my inspiration from the wee hours. nice to meet you Tim, I am Cats Male, murderous alter ego. I write dark poetry.

ever, eddy styx
*hugs, Cat

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author comment

eddy does it better.
I am somewhat intrigued at the title and wonder at the meaning.
Your language use has tight control and gives definition in a spare
but accurate manner. The theme is one I am intimately acquainted with
and you have captured the first moments of wakefulness perfectly.

"I arise, that out-of-body feeling
is upon me; like fly-paper
maybe coffee will loosen its' grip?
with cob-webby eyes and cardboard tongue
sitting in wait, for the clearing to come."

My favorite lines. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

insomniac, because I am one and (2) because it is my second poem with that title. that is how I feel. I hope you could identify with the descriptors? and I hate staring at the ceiling, my eyes start to cross... thanks for reading and such a nice compliment, too. any suggestions with handling this pitiful human condition? I'd shore appreciate it!

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat (feels like an anchor I'm dragging behind me!)

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author comment

Is a pitiful condition that many of us voluntarily suffer with! What, you say? Yes, there are things that work very well, and so I say that we are volunteers, that claim it is too much trouble and not really feasible. You don't need pills that can be addicting, and there are reasonable alternatives to sleeplessness. I have recently used one that makes it fairly easy to have at least a four hour snooze. I have an extra long-corded pair of earphones that reach from my computer to my bed, there are any numbers of sites that play the noises of everything from mild to heavy thunderstorms, and "music of the forest"- [night-sounds like frogs, and sleepy birds]. Cordless earphones are fairly cheap, [if you want to put a price on your sleep]. There are also remedies like warm milk and honey, a dull book, etc. If you are really committed to getting some real rest,there are ways! Personally, I am in favor of the thunder-storms; they have programs that run for as long as ten hours, I believe. Try it, you may like it. ~ Geez.
.,

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I really appreciate the advice :) but due to being attacked in my sleep when i was a young teen. I can't abide ear plugs or head phones. because I can't hear the background sounds. I go into a panic if I can't hear. but Steve is deaf in one ear and takes his hearing aid out when he sleeps. there is no one else but the two cats in the house. so I could do it without the headphones. thank you for a marvelous idea!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

about the earphones. Yes, those programs are great, and there are hundreds of them! I have a couple of favorites that I go to, one of them being Jungle Thunderstorm at Night/Rain, Thunder and Animal Sounds for Sleeping and Studying. I switch up with any of a hundred or so different programs. I'm so glad that I could be of any help. I don't use these programs all the time, but when I get several nights without a good rest, it's a great way to relax. Big hugs, ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

one can be found on a disc and then put on loop?

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

there are many different ways to enjoy these tracks. They are mostly loops that play continuously, but with enough variation that they seem very real. I find that the computer programs are the best, because you have so many to choose from and if you find some that aren't exactly to your taste, you can stop them and choose another. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

thanks!

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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