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Insider (for Ian, Gee and Carrie)

Walking in the shades of grey,
I have infiltrated the syndicates,
the elusive criminals of today
to study the games they played.

At times, my credibility is doubted
when fellows officers think I've swayed.
At times my loyalty is questioned
but my chief knows I will not stray.

For I have ended the reign of crimelords
with the evidence I have gathered
the scums thinking they're mortal gods,
trashed into a world of hurt.

The last to fall is an arms dealer
who calls himself Black Jack.
I played my role for two years
before I turned him into a wreck.

He sees the police as mere fools
that he can outsmart them anytime
while I've been playing him for a fool,
waiting for the right time.

Last night I messed up his new deal
when I led the team to the warehouse
where he met with a client named Anil
whose face reminds me of a mouse.

They tried to flee through the backdoor
but my friends were already waiting.
I hit Jack's head and he fell to the floor
and my team-mates pounced on him.

My chief approved my leave one week
and I planned to visit Bali
but a phone call from Grace The Psychic
changed the path of Destiny.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Wonderful to see you going after real criminals, those that cheat society and their fellow man.
Now, Killer, Nevermore, and Digit are not criminals, they are, from an age that is now, where the loss of the odd life is as nothing, but you dare to rob or con or be a fraud now there is a problem, and it's great to see you sorting them out, just publish their names we will help you, He, He.
Good write there Alid we await your reply with interest, it all boils down (A Pun) to supply and demand,
Take care out there, Yours, J . Sparrow

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I can understand Killer in the sense that he only attacked those he believed will hurt him.He is putting in action the verse "Offense is the best defense." Nevermore is a woman who craved for control and a killer who was sexually abused by her Dad.Tell me if I am wrong in their descriptions.

Alid

author comment

Sometimes these people we make are substitutes for the real thing but on a much higher level, sometimes it's a form of coming to grips with things by writing of these killers, lovers whatever.
As all poetry it is a statement or release from the day to day things, there has to be an ability to see, what the writer is aiming for.
As with my "Alone" it was fiction, but the added one called shadow days was written when I was a little low, you have to be able to what we call read between the lines, I have had to explain a few times that I had a lovely childhood in a great family due to poets interpreting my words in the wrong way, so you will see me put It is fiction sometimes.
We will never know on line all there is to know about the poets here, so what I say is treat them all carefully, and as a poem or story, they may tell you if they think it is needed, this way you draw closer to another facet of life..
Go well my friend and write your thoughts and let your own truths dictate to you a wisdom..
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I will take your words into consideration. I'm no expert in this but I'll try. Sometimes our emotion affects the way we write. Sometimes they are the essence of the poem. My very first poem hear entitled "Dear Life" is actually what I was telling to myself when I was feeling down, so I know what you mean.

Alid

author comment

rid of the dregs of life. The scoundrels that rape and kill the innocent. He is also a master chef who likes 'Long-pig. He is very old, having started eating his victims when he was lost in the Siberian wilderness. He has developed mores and sensibilities in the ensuing years and now only eats the bad guys. ~ Gee

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he is in a sense a dark hero who is also a cannibal. Am I right?

Alid

author comment

That's it! ~ Gee

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

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