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Inner Quest (by: eddy styx) mature content

Submitted by Candlewitch on Mon, 2016-10-03 13:56

Inner Quest
by: my male alter ego eddy styx

hidden...
within my own darkness
there once shown a light
fragile and dim
casting
faint glow
to the shadowy corners
of my tormented mind
out of my need
for understanding
and my abject isolation
I sought answers
to my personal
mystery of misery
finding...
the contempt of family
indifference of friends
suspicion of strangers
and the sanctimony
of the self-righteous
thus thoroughly disgusted
I looked within
searching...
and found
a shriveled seed
of badly battered decency

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

this poem was written by my male alter ego, who writes dark poetry. thanks, Cat

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Mon, 2016-10-03 21:33

Fantastic!

reads like a front introductory prologue
the beginning of a movie
a trailer to the juicier treacle of magic
and mystery

"a shriveled seed of badly battered
decency" a most epic and wonderful
Line Cat!

many a thing grew from such a seed
the thread of the thrive existing
waiting for the perfect conditions
to germinate and develop

I like the male persona writing
from women who write under the
male psuedonyms (forgive my spelling)
Or writing both female character
and male
many strong women in the arts

Thank U for this dark poem
It matches the wind in this fall
electric night...

Candlewitch

Tue, 2016-10-04 11:43

thank you Esker!

or is it Stephen (or Steven?) I had an illness in which I was dead for three plus minutes. thus not getting any oxygen to the brain. so I apologize for my memory being not so good. I do remember you and the fantastic poetry that you write! I will spare you the details of the therapy I endured :) but did you know that playing video games is good for improving the memory?

thank you so very much for taking the time to review this poem. I appreciate how much time and effort you put into this review :)

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

brittle light

Tue, 2016-10-04 22:12

hi Cat

long time since...

I think this is a very strong piece.
New awareness from a traumatic experience,
but not maudlin in any sense.

why the disclaimer (mature content) in the title?
who was that for?
certainly no one here....

hope you are going to be around for awhile...missing the good old days here sometimes!

sincerely

Candlewitch

Wed, 2016-10-05 12:33

hello Al!

it is so very nice to see you!I used the mature tag as a warning for younger readers who might take offense to the contents of my poem. my having been gone so long, I have forgotten what rules are in place for posting content. thank you so much for reading and commenting :)

*ever, eddy
always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

jane210660

Wed, 2016-10-05 04:58

Hi. At first I thought this

Hi. At first I thought this was a very dark piece, then I re read and re read again. It isn't dark at all, I think it's full of strength and resilience - your strength and resilience.
A really strong and powerful write, thank you for sharing it. Jx

------------
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Candlewitch

Wed, 2016-10-05 12:43

dear Jx,

I really must thank you for taking so much time in reading and understanding my poem! I feel that taking an inner journey, to make sure I haven't been lax on my personal rules, is necessary at least every six months :) I enjoyed your comment!
*ever, eddy
always, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Neopoet

Inner Quest (by: eddy styx) mature content